So far you probably know that I keep on coming here to this site to write you a letter, whenever I feel too desperate and sad because of you, that I feel like nothing else is going to work. I feel like this is somehow your email to heaven and that if I write here, you can actually read it. Whenever I feel so low because of what happened and I sit in my room at night, feeling like I’m going to explode, I come here. This is my instand therapy. It always helped so far. Even though I haven’t written you in a while, that doesn’t mean I’m okay. I’m just shut down. And tonight is so hard, because I realized that today would have been your birthday. Shock. And then I went through some pictures and made it all even worse.
\nI miss you. Even though I don’t even know what I miss. That’s what makes it harder probably. I’ve started therapy also, been there three times so far, and I’m so happy I’m doing it. I have the perfect therapist, and she always gives me hope. I wish you could have seen here. I would so very much like to believe that she could have helped you.
\nI must admit to you that lately I wasn’t feeling okay, but I’m slowly finding my strenght back, and am getting better. Lately, if sometimes I’m feeling down and scared for my future, I find strenght in you. After three years, I finaly find strength in you. I think of how you wrote me that I should keep on following my path, and that I’m the one in the family that can make something out of my life, and it gives me courage. I quiet believe you, and I quiet believe that you are there, helping me and guarding me. Please help me. I can’t do this alone. I relly need you right now. Can you please watch over me? Help me feel safe?
\nI miss you big bro.<\/p>\n
And I love you too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So far you probably know that I keep on coming here to this site to write you a letter, whenever I feel too desperate and sad because of you, that I feel like nothing else is going to work. I feel like this is somehow your email to heaven and that if I write here, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1017","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1017","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1017"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1017\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1017"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1017"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1017"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}