Hey, uhm, I don`t know what to say at first. Honestly I just miss you, since you died five years ago with a coma. And to tell you honestly, I`m still guilty that I didn`t do anything to save you back then, only three of us saw it and I was in there. I could have done something better or done something good. I watched you slowly die in front of me while hugging my younger cousins- telling them to be okay. Of course, I thought it was, until the doctor said you didn`t make it and we lost you. We didn`t watch television, my cousins and I feel missing without you, your children are scattered, your husband is distant and I feel lost. All of us are, you were an inspiration to many while I blamed you on your gifts on why you still bought the same gift. Later did I know, that was my very last gift from you, and all I said was a different one next year.
\n If you could read this, I wish you were still alive today, my eighteenth birthday is coming this year, and I honestly want to put your name in one of my treasures. Even if you`re dead and wouldn`t be there, I wish you will be there. It sucks seeing my mom suffer and realize she had a mom before. She missed you so much, you don`t know how much she misses you. Even grandpa misses you dearly, his love for you was eternal, he visited your grave everyday when you died. And had a sudden realization you were gone. Even your mother misses you dearly, she misses you so much when she sees us. I guess, I haven`t really moved on until I`m writing this now. The guilt, depression and loneliness is still there. Sure, I should move on-yet it has been five goddamn years and I `m still lost. I wish I had my time with you, I wish did more something better with you. Because you were enough for all of us while I wasn`t enough for you. I was never enough for you because I was such a prick. The reunions? I despise those since I know, I know it will never be the same without you.
\n It was never the same without you.
\n I may never get over it, we will never get over it. But I know, you`re happy right now with your father. Over the other side, I hope you`re happy, because you were the light in our lives.
\n I can never get over it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hey, uhm, I don`t know what to say at first. Honestly I just miss you, since you died five years ago with a coma. And to tell you honestly, I`m still guilty that I didn`t do anything to save you back then, only three of us saw it and I was in there. I could […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1076","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1076"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1076\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1076"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1076"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1076"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}