You’re not dead but you’re gone and that’s almost the same as dead.
\nYou were a good dad. You taught me how to fight, mostly just self-defense, you taught me how to make a wooden spoon, you taught me how to play soccer, you taught me how to use a bike, you taught me how to climb trees, you taught me how to fish even though I didn’t like it. Somewhere along the road, you stopped being my dad. I know that you and mom’s divorce was tough and you were unhappy for a long time – and maybe you’re still unhappy but I’m your child and I can never stop being your child, which leaves me very confused because how come you can stop being my dad when I can’t stop being your child?
\nIt makes me sad that I have to walk up the aisle someday not knowing whether you’ll be there.. Whether I want you there.
\nWe are now strangers to each other and I feel sick to my stomach when I visit your house once every sixth month. I know it’s wrong. It’s wrong of me to visit you that rarely, it’s wrong of me to feel that way and it’s wrong of you to stop being my dad.
\nI don’t know how to let go, I don’t know if I want to let go, and I don’t know how to go somewhere else from here. I want so desperately to hate you because it would make a lot of things easier but after all you’re still my dad and I need you to act like a dad. I need to stop missing you all the time because you’re there and I need to keep on loving you. Please come back. I love you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You’re not dead but you’re gone and that’s almost the same as dead. You were a good dad. You taught me how to fight, mostly just self-defense, you taught me how to make a wooden spoon, you taught me how to play soccer, you taught me how to use a bike, you taught me how […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-110","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/110","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=110"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/110\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=110"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=110"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=110"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}