I honestly don\u2019t know if you\u2019re dead or not. So I suppose I shouldn\u2019t be writing this letter as if you were. But I know that everyone writing these is feeling something, and sharing it with a small part of the world, and I know I need to be okay with feeling too, so here we are. I only saw you once, for a few hours, at a Sabrina Carpenter concert of all things. I hardly remember now\u2014it was two years ago, after all, and at the time you didn\u2019t seem important. You were nice, and I liked you, but it wasn\u2019t until a good time after the concert that I realized how… connected we were, I guess. I thought about you a lot, and still do; to this day I don\u2019t know what it is that brought me to think of you so much, and everything happened so long ago that even if I could go back to that night, I\u2019m not sure I\u2019d recognize what pulled me towards you afterwards.
\n Am I doing this wrong? Everyone else seems to be writing to dead people they actually knew, and know for sure that they\u2019re dead, for that matter. I really hope you aren\u2019t dead, but you were at the concert because of the Make-a-Wish program. Your mom told mine, saying that you had cancer, and the program wanted to fulfill your dream of seeing her while they still could. You were dying, I think. \u201cDying: it\u2019s a beautiful word. Like the long slow sigh of a cello: dying.\u201d That\u2019s from Surrender, this really good book by Sonya Hartnett. I think you\u2019d like it\u2014you seemed as if you\u2019d like deep important things, like me. You were quiet when we met, getting the same candy if I remember correctly, Cookie Dough Bites. You and your mom, alone, in front of me and mine. Most of the talking was done by your mother. You were quiet, but seemed so smart, like if you\u2019d only open your mouth, pages and pages worth of wisdom would escape. Wise beyond your years.
\n I still think of you from time to time. I tried to find you, online and through social media and websites and everything. Your Make-a-Wish program doesn\u2019t have you listed; at least, last time I checked, it didn\u2019t. I still listen to Sabrina. She released a new album, I think a week or two ago, or maybe I didn\u2019t hear about it until then. Anyway, it\u2019s called Singular Act 1. I discovered it on Spotify… I\u2019ve been trying to keep up with her for both of our sakes. I think you\u2019d like the album.
\n I wonder if you ever felt connected to me like I did to you? I sincerely hope you made it through your sickness. I imagine that it can be hell. I hope that you\u2019re still alive, if you want to be and it\u2019s not too hard for you, so that one day we might meet again: \u201cAnd we can meet again somewhere, someday far away from here.\u201d That\u2019s from Sign of the Times by Harry Styles, which Sabrina and Jasmine Thompson covered, I think around the same time we saw and met her together. That song still makes me feel, so intensely. Whether we ever reconcile or not, I don\u2019t know. You\u2019ll be with me either way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I honestly don\u2019t know if you\u2019re dead or not. So I suppose I shouldn\u2019t be writing this letter as if you were. But I know that everyone writing these is feeling something, and sharing it with a small part of the world, and I know I need to be okay with feeling too, so here […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1216"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1216\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}