hi baby, you’ve been gone for ten weeks and I miss you too much
\nI’m having a panic attack or maybe an embarrassment attack because I need to do something for college but I feel, once again, so inadequate
\nI feel like I don’t have any words I feel like I cant talk I feel like I cant say anything I feel like I’m gonna die I feel so bad and embarrassed and helpless and defeated and there’s nothing I can do about it
\njack last night I was listening to a recording I made last year of m having a breakdown and at one point I heard your voice
\nyou were in my recording and I’m so glad your voice was there but I feel so bad that it’s no longer here
\nyesterday I told mom that life is good and that I like living and that even though life is shit a lot of the time it is also beautiful and there’s a lot for me to do still and I said “because yes jack died, but that was only one day. he lived with us for nine years and that’s what I keep” but I’m not sure I believe this
\nI saw you for the last time 10 Fridays ago, I wish I still could hold you
\nall I want is for there to be an afterlife where I find you
\nwhere you greet me
\nand I can be happy again
\nmarch 20th, 2020
\n16:34<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
hi baby, you’ve been gone for ten weeks and I miss you too much I’m having a panic attack or maybe an embarrassment attack because I need to do something for college but I feel, once again, so inadequate I feel like I don’t have any words I feel like I cant talk I feel […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1319"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1319\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}