Today I realized something really importnat when I was watching a video about you. I don’t listen to your music – to One Direction – anymore because I kinda grew up. But I know I will always love you. You were a big part of my life and because of you I met a lot of friends I would never know about. I found my bestfriend because of you.
\nWhen I was watching that video, I really started to cry because I realized that you are the kind of a boy I would never talk to. And I know that a boy like would never fall in love with me. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe it is possible, but in that moment I was so shocked because I always felt like somehow you would fall in love with me. Even thought it’s a stupid idea, I know how ridiculous it sounds.
\nAnd now I realized that a boy just like you actually fell in love with me. And I loved him too. Yes…I loved him. But now he has another girlfriend and I’m happy for him. We are just friends who talk sometimes.
\nI’d probably still talk to him every day like I used to, but now I don’t miss him at all. A few days ago I killed my old self. I burned my own photo. I threw away razors I was keeping just in case I want to hurt myself again. I burned a story which I wrote only about me. And I torn apart letters for him. And now I’m feeling better. Nothing can hurt me anymore. I decided to never ever hurt myself again. Four years is enough.
\nNow I am happy. Happier than I thought I’d ever be. I have amazing friends and my dreams are coming true. I am not afraid of the world. the world shoud be afraid of me because I can hate (but also love) passionately. And I can destroy whatever I want. But not now. I really am learning how to love myself and to care about people around me.
\nI think I’m finally okay. I know things will get better. I believe it. And thank you for being that funny, cute and adorable Irish boy who always made me smile when I needed that.
\nI will always love your part in song Little Things. I will always love you because why not? You meant a lot to me. And now I know why.
\nLove<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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