Today, Carrie and Ma were talking about Robert and how dad wants to keep in touch to use him for his cement and Ma said \u201cYou know the foundation on the house in town is cracked, if we can get him to fix it then maybe, after, we won\u2019t need to keep him around for the debt he owes dad.\u201d Carrie replied with \u201cYes, that\u2019s fine, I just don\u2019t want to be there while he’s doing it.\u201d I wasn\u2019t speaking just listening, and watching Carrie\u2019s face get long and for a minute she was opening up about how sad it all made her, I could see for a second how her jaw unhinged like how it does right before a child is going to cry. Her eyebrows started drawing together and I could feel how she felt, I understood how deeply she regretted the mistake of marrying such a terrible man. I know you were probably there with us watching her, feeling her feelings, being apart of the conversation the way I was but it was so derailing to see someone I see as stable become unstable even if it was for 24 seconds. I get the same feeling when I think of you dying. Not the way everyone says it was, brave and daring like you always were but instead how it really, might have been for you, terrifying. I can picture your shaky hands trying to turn away from the tree in front of you and I can almost hear the scream you let out before you died and its derailing in the same way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today, Carrie and Ma were talking about Robert and how dad wants to keep in touch to use him for his cement and Ma said \u201cYou know the foundation on the house in town is cracked, if we can get him to fix it then maybe, after, we won\u2019t need to keep him around for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-638","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/638","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=638"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/638\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=638"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=638"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=638"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}