I don’t understand what I’m feeling. It’s kind of hard to put to words. It’s been two years since you took your life and I’ve done a lot of thinking since then. The night you took your life, you told me you loved me and I thought it was the craziest thing in the world. Why would someone ever love me? Why you of all people? I thought a lot about the few months we were friends and I finally realized something I should’ve a long time ago. I was in love with you. I can’t even believe I’m admitting this. The night you took your life you verbally abused me so I don’t understand why I’d ever admit this fact. But the key word in that statement, is fact. I was in love with you. After all the crap I’m going through because of you, I’m still able to say that. I haven’t loved another soul after you and I don’t think I ever will. My heart shattered to the point where I don’t think it can be mended.
\nThis makes me question why I’m writing this letter. It seems stupid. You ended up being the reason for my parents distrust in me and the loss of my friends. However, I think the reason in the end is that I can’t bring myself to hate you. This is why this is a LOVE letter after all. Whenever I close my eyes, I think of you. I’m hoping that finally being able to say this too you will make my thoughts calm.
\nI forgive you.
\nYou asked for my forgiveness a lot, but this time, you never had the chance to. I wonder if you would ask for it if you had the chance, so I’m saying I forgive you just in case you’ve always wanted to ask.
\nThis wasn’t something easy to say. I was convinced that I’d never forgive you as long as I’m alive. Things change I suppose. So I’m gonna leave it at this…
\nI forgive you and…
\nI love you<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don’t understand what I’m feeling. It’s kind of hard to put to words. It’s been two years since you took your life and I’ve done a lot of thinking since then. The night you took your life, you told me you loved me and I thought it was the craziest thing in the world. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":658,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-657","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/657","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=657"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/657\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/658"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=657"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=657"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=657"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}