I feel like often when someone passes, people use types of expression like “you would like up a room with your laughter”… And I always would scan through these types of statements without truly feeling what they meant. When you passed, I couldn’t attend your furneral and for that I am sorry. I don’t understand how all the people so close to you could stand there and be so brave and face that you were gone. I couldn’t. I sent my apologies for my absence and tried to forget. After a few days I realized I couldn’t go on without awknowledging you, so I planned a candle lighting for you. So many people showed up that in the middle of them admiring the posters I had made for you, I had to get away. I left and drove in circles and came back. I will never understand why it had to be you to go so soon. I now understood what it meant to realize the expressions about a persons laughter. It took me some time to see that I was spending more time reflecting and asking why then just being thankful to have had you in my life at all. Death is a part of life, I guess. It’s still hard for me to swallow that phrase. You were a beautiful part of life. And that is what I have chosen to focus on. The letter I left on your grave stayed under that rock for months and now it is gone. I had hoped your mom had taken it, and then worried about it hurting her heart when she read it. The letter was filled with all of our memories growing up, I know you heard the letter and smiled. You were always so invincible, until you weren’t. This book I read about letters to the dead, made me have flashbacks of our time together often. It really changed me, and how I viewed you being gone. I know you are somewhere listening. I love you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I feel like often when someone passes, people use types of expression like “you would like up a room with your laughter”… And I always would scan through these types of statements without truly feeling what they meant. When you passed, I couldn’t attend your furneral and for that I am sorry. I don’t understand […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/661","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=661"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/661\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}