You were the first time I experienced love at first sight. I learned you had a boyfriend just moments after first speaking to you, which was just another reason you may not ever love me considering we are of the same gender and I still lived in a closet. I’m not sure I why I was instantly attracted to you, but it became infatuation. I was fascinated by you like I could never learn too much or became bored of you. I slowly friend zoned myself just in my efforts to get close to you. I realized not only did I hate your boyfriend because I wanted you and he had you, but also because he mistreated you and I couldn’t help but be confused and engulfed in anger at the fact that he had something I could only wish for and he didn’t even care enough to appreciate it. Slowly we became closer and I became your secret. Behind closed doors, it was as if I was your world. You knew it was wrong to be cheating on him, but you constantly tried to justify it because I was “just a girl.” I remember when you broke up, my small flicker of hope became a full, blazing fire. I was convinced it was my time, like you would just flock to me with nothing to hold you back. I was wrong, I spent more months as your secret, but it felt even harder with you being single because I just sat back and witnessed all the attention you would receive from different boys. I felt so disrespected. Like they were disrespecting my relationship right in front of my face, but I couldn’t be mad. I couldn’t confront them, I couldn’t blame them, I had no power or right to because they didn’t even know about this so called relationship. It sounds pathetic the way I waited for you and endured this hurt, but I continued to do it because of how in love I felt. I convinced myself you were worth. And let me tell you, you were worth it. When I stood up for myself, when you finally realized I was right for you, I spent the best three years of my life with you. We may no longer be together, but I’ll always love you. And I thank you, because I loved you so much I was able to step out of the closet. I didn’t care of others peoples opinions because I was comfortable with myself when I was with you. Although the that year and half as your secret was the most suffering I’ve experienced so far, I’d do it again to experience the excitement of you and my first time in love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You were the first time I experienced love at first sight. I learned you had a boyfriend just moments after first speaking to you, which was just another reason you may not ever love me considering we are of the same gender and I still lived in a closet. I’m not sure I why I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=677"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}