Granny, I just wanted to tell you that we went for a walk today. We only went for a walk a midday because I’d had to do my lit. rev. for my RS project so we had lunch first at a pub that looked just like the pub in Steyning that you liked going to, ‘the castle’. I remember going there with you and daddy not long before you left. I really enjoyed that. I remember feeling so grown up with just you and daddy. You always seem so pleased to see me and it made me feel really special. I miss you. I miss writing to you. I write to mimi and maggie but its just not really the same.
\nSometimes I feel really lonley even though i’m around other people. I feel like I don’t really fit in. I that nerdy girl who sits in the corner and is ugly and not very confident. I have friends, really good ones, and i’m so glad about that. I suppose I can’t have everythiong. Except, I’m still that nerdy unpopular girl but i’m not smart anymor. I’m failing in so many subjects, in my end of year maths exam, I got 50%. That’s amost the worst I’ve done in any test ever. It wouldn’t be so bad if I was good at english. You know me, english has always been my dream. It still is, more than anything; I’m just not getting anywhere with it anymore. There is a passion I feel about the subject, the reading the writing, the analysing, getting lost in the beauty of the words, trying to puzzle out their meanings. I adore it. But why am I no good anymore?
\nMy failing in maths would also be ok if it were not for the fact that I don’t seem to want to do anything about my result. Before, if I got a mark like that I would have gone home and studdied and made it rioght. But now, I just feel… nothing. I’m worried that this new part of me is going to just go downhill from now. What if I fail my GCSEs?
\nIs it possible to loose yourself altogether? I want to rewaind the clock, see you and Grandad again and to go back to the person I was. But that can never happen now. I’m afraid i don’t remeber the person i was and now i’m just some warped, shallow person that just another clone of every high school student.
\nI will miss you forever and never forget you. I wish you could be here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Granny, I just wanted to tell you that we went for a walk today. We only went for a walk a midday because I’d had to do my lit. rev. for my RS project so we had lunch first at a pub that looked just like the pub in Steyning that you liked going to, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=699"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}