We haven’t spoken in weeks, and we never will again. The days spent with you are dead, dead to me, at least. Enough happened in the span of your wings that I should hate you. I can’t hate you. I’m trying hard to hate you, so hard that my eyes can hardly see straight, but I can’t hate you. I wish you never did what you did to me. You led to my demise, and honestly I felt like Kurt Cobain spiraling down a path of drug dependency and dirty apartments and unwashed hair. Sophomore year, you were a dark tunnel and I was on my hands and knees, desperate to get to the other side but thinking if I just coped various ways it would be like I had made it. Your dishonesty and trickery has left me a fragile shell of a person and I’m slowly trying to rebuild what you destroyed. But you were good, so good, in a sweet way that stings because it’s not actually sweet. You opened up doors to me. Sylvia Plath. My own dependency upon others. I hope you know that I hate you when the sky is overcast, but I love you when the sun shines and the tulips bloom. Sophomore year, I pray you will be dead forever, but I fear you are simply in hibernation, anticipating your awakening when spring ends.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We haven’t spoken in weeks, and we never will again. The days spent with you are dead, dead to me, at least. Enough happened in the span of your wings that I should hate you. I can’t hate you. I’m trying hard to hate you, so hard that my eyes can hardly see straight, but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/723","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=723"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/723\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=723"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=723"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=723"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}