It hit me like a shock the other day wahen the words you have said to me came flooding back. I have almost forgotton them even though I knew they were always there.
\nI am sorry that I have fallen so low and have not cared. I didn’t know it was happening until I saw it there in black and white on paper. I realised I have broken a promise to you and that in itself would break my heart. If it had not been for you I wouldn’t be where I am anyway- you gave me the chance and I haven’t done much to show that I am grateful. I have been lazy and been sidetracked with things that are unimportant.
\nHow much I wish for things. But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Maybe I should try harder, forget things and learn to focus on what should matter. In those moments where nothing matters I loose controll and my life seems to spiral out of control…
\nI need to grab it back and I realise that. I hate I sometimes don’t have the contol to do that.
\nWhen I loose things or my mind wanders to places I try to hide the tears are powerful and sting at the back of my eyes. Sometimes it is hard to push them back inside or wipe them away. I have to remind myself that tears are a luxury of the weak. I cannot afford to have weaknesses.
\nI wish you could be here to guide me when I am lost. Because I am lost so often now. I wish you could be here to see me grow up- maybe one day I will have worked it all out- maybe one day I will have worked hard enough to have something to be proud of. I hope so. I hope that you are still there and one day will still see me. You always did see me. Thank you.
\nI miss you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It hit me like a shock the other day wahen the words you have said to me came flooding back. I have almost forgotton them even though I knew they were always there. I am sorry that I have fallen so low and have not cared. I didn’t know it was happening until I saw […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-848","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/848","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=848"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/848\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=848"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=848"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=848"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}