What makes you a bad person? When is it going to far? When do you go from insecure to insane? Or is there even a difference? I feel like the older I get, the more insecure I feel. When I look at the people who mean the world to me, I wonder why they even waste their time on me. I’m holding my breath, waiting for them to wake up, and realize they can do so much better. And then there’s her. She’s a bright star in a world so dark compared to her. She’s my sun, the one who I would be lost without. And she chose me. I still can’t believe it. It seems too good to be true. And the thing that terrifies me most in the world is losing her. So I do everything in my power to keep her.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I disgust myself. The things I do so that the few friends I have don’t leave me. If I make them jealous, they’ll spend more time with me right? If I talk loudly to someone else, will I catch their attention? Will they come over to talk? If they’re talking to someone else, I’ll just casually interrupt. If someone is getting to close to them, I’ll just subtly try to get between them. I’ll lie, I’ll manipulate people, I’ll do anything. If I talk about another friend, will they try to get closer to me? What can I do to make them like me more? If I do this, will that be what they would do? What they would want me to do? I go too far now, and someday, I may go so far that I really do lose them. I don’t want to be like this, but when I’m in the situation, jealousy blinds me. I can’t control myself. In no way do I deserve any of them, especially her. When I do things like that, I don’t even feel like me. I need to stop. Please help me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What makes you a bad person? When is it going to far? When do you go from insecure to insane? Or is there even a difference? I feel like the older I get, the more insecure I feel. When I look at the people who mean the world to me, I wonder why they even […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-letters"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/874","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=874"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/874\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loveletters.avadellaira.com\/love-letters\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}