February 6, 2018

Dear John Lennon,

Yesterday I did one of the biggest steps to find my truly self. Because I was reading this and it made me to think about it. About me and why I am still feel so empty a lost. I went to a chat room for someone who feel some kind of fear and things something like that. Later that night I was crying, because I was feeling so lost. So unhappy.
Today I went to that chat room again.
They told me that I have to find some real help.
But I don’t know. I am not sure I wanna do that. I know that if I know you, you could help me, because I think you were so smart. Like not the way, that you were smart as a doctor, dentist or this but the way you know, what’s real. And I know, you could help me.
I think I am still feeling like Yoko. When she lost you.
Because I lost a very important person of my life and I don’t know what to do.
I am pretty sure Yoko felt so much pain. Like she had (or still has) a hole in her chest, where chaos, depression, your death, live. And that hole started to be bigger and bigger.
That’s how I feel right know. I think I have a depression, unhappy me and bad thoughts in it.
But I am pretty sure one day that hole started to be smaller and smaller because she found the way how to make it smaller. How to be more happy. How to settle everything about you and her life without you.
And I hope I will find my own way.

Your, K
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