"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Kendim için 3 sene önce yazdığım mektubu az önce burda okudum ve belki de bu yazdığımı da bir 3 sene sonra bulacağım.Hayat o kadar bilinmezliklerle dolu ki.Bu 3 yıl içinde o önceki kızla hiçbir alakam kalmamış gibi hissediyorum.İlk aşkımı yaşadım ve ilk ayrılığımı da.Severek ayrılmanın ne kadar zor olduğunu da yaşamış oldum.Üstünden aylar geçti ve şimdi gönül rahatlığıyla söyleyebilirim ki yaşadığım hiçbir şey için pişman değilim.Bu zamana kadar bana karşı hisler besleyen kimseyi sevememiştim ama şimdi aşkı uğruna bunca şeyler yaşayan tüm herkesi anlayabiliyorum.İnsanda bir şeyleri değiştiriyor.Umarım tekrardan o hissi yaşayabilirim.Ama bana daha uygun biriyle.İçimde kelebekler uçuşsun tabi ki isterim ama umarım başımı omzuna yasladığımda huzur bulabileceğim biri olur.Çünkü bazen aşk tek başına yetmiyor.Bazen tüm duygularını arkanda bırakıp hak ettiğin şeyi seçmek zorundasın.Yani kendini.

Umarım hayat bana bundan sonra daha nazik olur.Güzelliklerle gelir.Sevdiklerimle uzun sağlıklı bir hayat istiyorum tek dileğim bu.

You aren’t dead. I miss talking to you though.

It’s always been my fault, and it always will be my fault. You deserve so much more than I will ever be. I should have just kept my mouth shut and maybe things would look different right now. Maybe I would still have you to lean on when I need a friend to talk to.

Even after I lost everything and gave up on life, he didn’t change. It’s lonely, dark. Every single day is a battle to stay alive. And now I have to battle it alone. He says he’s on my team. But when I hit rock bottom, I find myself on a one man team and I’m drowning.

He used to love me the way you liked me (at least I think you liked me). He would send me flowers to work. Send me mushy little cards or messages to let me know I was important to him. Then, one day it stopped. I don’t feel pretty or loved anymore. I suppose I deserve that. I have never deserved anything.

I just wanted to find a way to say thank you. Thank you for showing me what it felt ... Read more

Lamentablemente llegue a este mundo 2 años después de tu muerte“( me hubiera encantado conocerte, conozco de ti lo suficiente gracias a lo que mi padre y tíos me han dicho sin duda alguna fuiste una gran mujer lograste sacar a tus hijos adelante, sin embargo el cáncer te venció, un 8 de junio te fuiste de este mundo hace exactamente 20 años atrás,me duele tanto no haberte conocido pero solo Dios sabe porque pasan las cosas, aunque no te conocí te amo tanto abuela espero algún día verte en la otra vida. Con cariño la nieta que tanto anhelaste, te amo!!

Después de todo me estoy amando a mí misma, se que no soy perfecta y eso es lo que hace única, cada día mejoramos en algo bueno, el acercarme más a Dios y asistir a una iglesiacon más frecuencia ne esa sirviendo de mucho, estar en un país sin saber el idioma después de todo no está tan mal, he conocido personas que son tan maravillosas. Gracias Castas de amor a los muertos me ayudó mucho a ser yo misma y descubrir mi identidad igual que Laurel!

Recomiendo “Cartas de amor a los muertos” de Ava Dellaira porque es una lectura emotiva y reflexiva que puede resonar profundamente con cualquier lector, especialmente aquellos que han experimentado pérdida o están en búsqueda de su identidad.

It kills me. Knowing you’ll never know my sons. Knowing you’ll never have kids of your own. Knowing you’ll never grow older than 21. Knowing that life forever changed that day. It will be nine years this year. Nine. It’s incredible to think that it’s been that long. Because some days I swear it’s like I just lost you, I feel that deep aching pain in my chest, and some days it seems like it’s an eternity. I will never be able to put into words how empty my heart feels. How I feel like I can’t make anymore friends and let them in like I did you. Or how to even be open. Or talk about you without crying. Nine years and I still cry thinking about you. If I didn’t have pictures I would truly think you were just a dream. I wish I could go back and go out with you that night. I wish I could have been there to at least make sure you were wearing a seatbelt. I guess I wish a lot of things. I supposed I’ll end with my normal, I’ll love you for as long as I miss you, until the ... Read more

13 years with you wasn’t enough time. i miss you every hour of every day. not only am i grieving you, i’m also grieving the person i would of been if you didn’t die. give daddy & mimi a hug for me. i love you so much.

I really really miss you. I miss you, and I hate how I have forgotten some of our memories. It has only been a couple years, but… I forgot. God I am so mad at myself for forgetting, and I can’t believe I have forgotten. I miss you letting me sit on your lap in your chair. I miss you even when you had to pull that splinter out of my foot and I started bawling. It didn’t really hurt at least not that bad. I just wanted to get attention from you I guess Grandpa has a new lady friend. I don’t know if you would like her, but I domt think you would hate her either. Well, except for the fact I know she says Mary. I don’t know what else to say here, but I just miss you. Oh, and mom and dad got divorced. It really hasn’t been easy. Me and mom moved into our new house on January 1st 2022. that would have been a few months short of you being gone for 2 years. I’m writing this on December 31st at about 11pm. Almost a new year… yay. That just means it’s a new ... Read more

You may still be physically alive, but I’m sure the version of you I knew died long ago. You have left me with a sea of ​​questions and insecurities, I was blinded and could not see the knife that was approaching my heart.

I always wanted to understand you, but I never managed to. You periodically changed your own words and confused me more, made me feel guilty and idiotic. Despite that, I kept trying with you, because I wanted it to be with you. That was my mistake, not accepting that you were not ready for something like that, I believed your sweet words that you told me in the midst of the ecstasy of falling in love and then I could not understand your sudden change when experiencing the fear of what could happen.

I brought this harm on myself by insisting, but you caused it with your jerky caresses that hurt my heart. Although now every time our eyes meet they only express rejection or melancholy, I have to admit that I still see you as beautiful as the first time, as beautiful as when I said “I want to do it right this time”.

Everyone tells me that it’s not my fault ... Read more

I thought about you a lot. I wonder what you felt in your last moments. Did you see me ? We never got to know each other that well. I feel bad. You were so happy. So perfect. So beautiful .I wonder what went wrong. Do you hate me for forgetting about you ? It’s lonely without you around. I moved to away. Everything’s new and I feel out of place. Is that how you felt meeting me for the first time ? I know I shouldn’t even be writing this letter. We weren’t even best friends or anything. I just hope you’re in a better place. Maybe you were too good for this world.

I miss you, everyday I wish you could be here with me and my milestones. Me and my husband recently had kids I know you said we were too young to get married let alone have kids but you would have loved them. We named our son rico after you, I really miss you your birthday wasn’t that long ago we celebrated like we have everyday since your death. Reading this book reminded me of all the letters I sent to you all the ones in my dresser. I hope you get them and I hope you get to read them. I have to go, now the kids are calling me.

I love you.