"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I miss you. I miss you every single day. You can’t imagine how angry I am for what you did. I just can’t accept the fact that you would be the one choosing to take your life away. That hurts so much. And if I had the chance to see you again, I would probably punch you so hard. I know life has been hard with you, and I know that you didn’t see a bright future for you, I understand. But still I wish that this wouldn’t happen. I wish that you could talk to me and I could make things better for you. But it’s too late for that. I know that with time my broken heart will heal and that I will learn to live without you. I know that maybe there will come times that I won’t wake up in the middle of the night with the thought ‘he’s dead, he’s not here anymore’ on my mind. hope that with time, I won’t be so angry anymore. I really do try to understand. But the thing that hurts so much is knowing that you must have suffered so bad, so really really bad that you decidet to leave, and I didn’t even know. I didn’t help you. I just wish I knew.
I hope you are happy now. At a better place. I sure want to believe that you are watching over me and taking care of me. You do, right? Thank you for all the things you have done for me, and thank you that you have given me the ability to love someone so much as I love you. I will always always always miss you, and I promise I will always keep you in the best memory.

And while I’m learning to live without you, I just hope that you know that I love you and that I always will, even if I never really told you.

And to you, Ava, if you ever read this, THANK YOU. Thank you for writing this book. Thank you for helping me with all those amazing words you put together. You helped me while I’m healing, and really thank you for that.