"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I miss you so much, and I try to reach so much in my life right now. Mom and dad always help me with anything they said. But now I know my sisters and my little sister need them more. They say I’m brutal and that the boy I love is too old. He’s 15 almost 16, I know what you think.. that’s three years apart. Calm down, I don’t know if he’s the one either. I think I just love him so much because he’s the one taking care of me right now. I don’t want to break his heart, and I know that I need to say it to him, but I don’t even know if I’m sure. I think he knows it because now he’s acting weird to me. I’m happy that he knows it. He’s gonna hate me so much, I know. But he breaks me too. He’s sending hearts to other girls who telling him he’s cute. And I can’t say anything about it because he isn’t mine. I’m not gonna tell him about this. My English is better , the teacher said that I’m the best of my class. I want to learn more Spanish tho. Because ( as you know ) my aunt speaks Spanish and my mom and sisters speak it too, because we have Spanish family. You know, English and Spanish are so much easier then Dutch. Dutch is one of the hardest languages of the world! Next month I’m already 13.. It’s been 2 years since you’ve passed away.. Christmas morning..
Oh wow, I’m crying right now. I’m happy I’m home alone, I don’t want anyone to see me cry. RN I am busy with my book review for school. It’s about that book that I’ve told about “Love letters to the dead” or “Liefdes brieven aan de sterren”. I’ve read it in both languages. I can’t really find information about the writer Ava Dellaira that I need. You know, I admire her so much. Welp, my sister is coming. She needs me. Bye.. Mis you, love you. Hm, maybe I’m gonna write a book like this by myself, hah..