"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

So it’s been a while since we’ve talked. I know we aren’t “Best-of-friends” anymore but I still cared for you. Remember the first time we ever came up with our nicknames? It was kind of an accident actually. It was a funny inside joke until it was said every time we passed each other in the hallways or when we hang out together as a group. I’m still glad that she introduced us together. I won’t wanna say names so let’s just call her Pearl. You would call me LDawg and I would call you BDawg. Whenever we wanted to hang out, I and Pearl would knock on your window and when you were grounded, you would crawl out of the window next to the park and play ghost in the graveyard. We would also have mini-competitions with the other kids in the other apartment buildings. But… As time passes, we started seeing less and less of each other. You started to move out of the apartment and started moving on to more popular people to hang around with. One day I was at the pool and I saw you. It was kind of hard to recognize you because once someone’s hair is wet, they look like a whole different person. You looked so happy. I was even glad you sat right next to me while I was hanging by the deep end. I look back at all the times we have hung out together and my heart starts to go crazy. I start to question if I’m starting to like I’m or if am I just scared of him. I just came to the conclusion that it is just my adrenaline and how nervous I was in general. We haven’t seen each other and so long. Is this destiny? We connected all over again and I added your new snap. The last ever snap you gave me. We still haven’t talked because you were so focused on football. Every time we talked, I thought it wouldn’t be cool to save our text messages although deep inside, I wanted to even save every convo we had and reread them over and over again like a broken record. To be clear… it was quarantine so I would reread text all the time. Every time you even post, I give you compliments and that’s how conversations go. I would ask about your day. After a while, he stopped texting. It was the brink of when covid was dying down a little more. So no more masks and events were opening up again. It was a few weeks until the 4th of July. I started to hear the devastating news about how you weren’t feeling very well and needed to go to the hospital to get checked. As weeks passed, It news start to get worse, as days passed. Everyone would have fundraisers planned ahead of time and start having a charity fund for his medical bills. They would even have events and tag themselves in the post in support. A couple of days before the 4th of July I heard the worst news I would ever imagine. I wake up and see everyone’s post saying “RIP” and “Fly High”. I go on the facebook page to make it was true. I found out you passed away from stage 4 cancer. I cried almost every night. When the 4th of July came, I wanted to the park and go see fireworks but my aunt wasn’t feeling good and couldn’t walk long distances. So, we just hung out with our chairs on the huge soccer field we had on the outside of the house. I look up and I start to wonder what he would be doing and where he would actually be at. I sobbed for so long. I would always wonder where your soul would actually be at. I would even go to church camp and not know the answer I was looking for. I still wonder now but I could finally leave that question at bay. But the worst part was your birthday was on July 15th which made the situation even worse. I tried to look back at the last texts we have ever had. But they were all gone. Erased. No evidence on my phone we even had contact besides a username. All the photos we have ever taken of each other have disappeared on an old phone and lost an old snap. That’s why I always take videos and photos of all the experiences I have with my friends. You would never know when it would be your last breathe. But by the end, I’m still wondering… How are you BDawg?