"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

You aren’t dead. I miss talking to you though.

It’s always been my fault, and it always will be my fault. You deserve so much more than I will ever be. I should have just kept my mouth shut and maybe things would look different right now. Maybe I would still have you to lean on when I need a friend to talk to.

Even after I lost everything and gave up on life, he didn’t change. It’s lonely, dark. Every single day is a battle to stay alive. And now I have to battle it alone. He says he’s on my team. But when I hit rock bottom, I find myself on a one man team and I’m drowning.

He used to love me the way you liked me (at least I think you liked me). He would send me flowers to work. Send me mushy little cards or messages to let me know I was important to him. Then, one day it stopped. I don’t feel pretty or loved anymore. I suppose I deserve that. I have never deserved anything.

I just wanted to find a way to say thank you. Thank you for showing me what it felt like to feel wanted and like I mattered again. Even if it was just for a short time. I hold on to those moments on days like today.

I’m sorry I hurt you. You never deserved any of this and I’m sorry I drug you into this. I pray you find a beautiful woman who treats you like the amazing man you are. I’m so sorry for everything.