Dear B.,
I’ve lost you.
I wish I hadn’t but I have.
I let you go away, I asked you to leave but all I really wanted was for you to stay the same as I once knew you. Was it selfish of me to wish that ? To demand the impossible ?
It wasn’t selfish.
It was delusional.
It was hopeless.
You know I can blame you for being the reason my life is a struggle. But the truth is you’re not. My life is the way it is because it’s always been. So I can go on thinking I’ll be okay when you’ll be back but we both know it’s not the truth. You’ve never carried me. You were my ally and for a time it was more than enough. But now I need to let you go.
For that is the only way I will find the bravery to try and be stronger. Farewell B.
You’re not dead, we are.
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