"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Tomorrow is a week since you left. I feel like saying what really happens makes it true. That you’re gone and not coming back. I liked you for the longest time and cried when you tried to commit a week before you did. And then you appeared out of no where saying you were fine. I was so mad. So mad. I cared so much about you and you ignored me. I wanted to be the one to help you. I wanted to be the one to make you feel safe. A few days later you said you finally came out of the closet and I said that’s brave and I’m proud. And you ignored me again. You finally actually talked back to me. I was happy. You said a few days later that your girlfriend left you because you said you liked guys and girls. You said everyone hated you. But I didn’t. I never did. It was like I didn’t exsist to you. You didn’t think that you had me. Well you did. I don’t know why I even care. You never cared about me. You stopped talking to me. I was so mad. I opened up to you and you stopped talking. A few days later someone said you killed yourself. I didn’t know what to think. And like a week before I stayed in bed for a while and thought yeah right he’ll say something to me again and he’ll still be here. And your best friend confirmed it. You were gone. I’ve been going through this week alone. I think about you everyday out of no where. And can’t believe it. I still don’t. It’s like I don’t think you’re gone. Really gone. That your sister is crying somewhere that you’re gone. I just think you left me like you did a lot. And this time you’re not coming back to me. Not that you’re really gone. Alicia misses you a lot. She took over your fan account so it doesn’t get deleted. She only posts pictures of Ash that’s probably what you would want. She hasn’t changed anything with the account. I feel stupid for writing this. But it’s something that needs to be said. I wish I could back and tell you that I’m here for you. And that there’s something waiting for you. But you probably wouldn’t listen anyone like you didn’t the first time but I could try again. I hope you’re dancing around to 5SOS and being happy where ever you are. You’re not dead to me. You’ll forever live in my mind. xoxo