"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I miss you. The 3 little words used to carry so much weight. Lately I’ve been realizing how careless I have been. I haven’t been thinking about you as much. I’ve been forgetting the little things. Maybe its because whenever I think about you, I think about what the afterlife is really like. I’ve been looking at things differently. The little things aren’t important. I’m starting to think like an adult. Worrying about money, not being happy. I wish I knew how things were in your time. My mom said I’m just like you. Same really nervous habits. I know where mine come from. What about yours? What made you nervous? What made you worry? What made you have those nervous breakdowns? Whenever everyone speaks about you they make you out to be calm and peaceful. It doesn’t add up. Something’s missing. Maybe you just had two separate lives. Or maybe that’s how you wanted them to see you so that’s what you became. Calm and peaceful. I think it was eating at you. Maybe you wanted them to think you had every little thing together. Maybe that’s why you had the breakdowns. You wanted everyone to see how fixed you were until you broke yourself. I don’t care. I don’t care. People go through things. It’s normal. It probably wasn’t in your time. Everyone pretended to have every little thing in tact. That’s probably why it was so hard for you. No one wanted to see you as a woman who was hurting and who was sick. Physically. You were. Mentally. No one knows. Your family probably wanted you to always be put together. I don’t care how broken you were. I would have been the one to try and help fix you. I want you to have help. I want you to let go of all the bad things. I guess its too late now because you’re in heaven and God already did that for you. Whats it like to be safe and know that nothing can hurt you? Whats it like to not worry anymore? Whats it like to be without your family for so long? Your children miss you. They’re just too blind with everything else. Adults tend to have that problem. Oblivion. I don’t want to be oblivious. I feel like that’s what I’m turning into sometimes. I want you to guide me. Send me an Angel or send yourself. I hope you will. I really need you. I love you.