"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

My little CECE mouse,

Yesterday would have been your birthday, your majority, your 18 years old honey.
You would certainly have celebrated that with a small party, surrounded with the ones you love and who, above all, loves you so very much. I probably would have been there but I guess our journey made a pose when you left the city of our childhood.

Do you remember these evenings we spent chattering in your bed, hoping not to be caught by the parents? These days we spent twittering in playground – Mimi, Lil, You and me, the most explosive of Benettons? Or these hours we spent bringing out clothes and disguises of your white cupboard? And these uncountable times when you clowned around in the street to show us your “feet out of duck” as you called them?
I do not know why but my memory of child gives me back me these flashes of souvenirs sometimes.
This striking kind of memories that transforms two kids into happy girls and grown-up women.

But if there was a thing I should remember about you, it would certainly be your little giggle, like a mouse, a soft ternary melody that highlighted your white teeth and your freckles, framed by your magnificent golden hair.

Then tell me what I missed honey. Tell me what I missed so that you moved from the merry small kid to the young woman, taking the kind of decision that nobody should ever have to take in his life.

I suppose you found yours too long and too slow to put an end to it so early. Far too early according to me.

Not even the time for a goodbye, a hello or even a fuck you. Everything would have been fine to me, you know?
But instead, radio silence on both sides. And the third time I hear about you in ten years, it is to learn that I will never speak to you again. Or at least for a little while.

See, I really don’t feel like leaving this beautiful planet right now. I prefer not to rush things.
But I hope that you are happy where you are.

I don’t think that you have begun a new life, just another stage, as I did with university in fact. Because whatever you decide, you can never leave everything behind you and forget.
Impossible.
Your body is not with us anymore but we won’t forget you. And as long as we remember, you will exist.

It is only a goodbye honey. I wish you a safe journey and set the stage for me. Don’t worry. You have time.