"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

So I know you’re not actually dead. In a figurative way though you are to me. You betrayed me. You let me believe I could trust you and I did. Truth is I miss you. I miss the relationship we used to have. You were the only person I felt like I could truly tell anything to. I miss all the weird crazy stuff we did together. I miss never spending a weekend alone because I had you right down the street from me. I miss being able to call you in the middle of the night when I felt scared. I miss watching Are You The One with you. I miss planning to get our first apartment together. I miss doing so many things with you and I know it can never be that way again. I know it’s not all your fault when it comes to the tear in the relationship. It was your mom’s when she lied about what she was doing to me and her letting her sister put them lies about me and my family on facebook about me, but you did play a part in it. You started telling everyone my secrets. Things I’m not proud of. I’m always thinking if you just stayed out of it and kept your mouth shut would we be cool? Then I remember how one sided everything was between us. I would do things for you that you wouldn’t do for me. I would share everything with you and you would share a portion. I would give up talking to people for you even though they mean nothing to you, but you couldn’t give up the one person I didn’t want you being around. Yes, I will admit I was jealous, but only because I was losing him to you. He was the first guy they we both met, but he chose to like me. Your prettier and more fun to be around so whenever we met someone they always liked you better. He was the first to take interest in me before you and thats one of the reasons I liked him so much because I thought he saw through your little facade. I knew who you really were. you were a selfish person. You always took what was better and let me with the extras. I remember going into Claires and us going to the bridal stuff and you always got to wear the bride hat and I got the bridesmaid. That was selfish to me. and when people gave you things, but you would never do in return. You were slefish because you were always trying to outshine me instead of just shinning with me. You made me self consious on how I looked because you would always call out my insecurities. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be afraid to wear shirts that go above my butt because I feel like it’s too small. So, when I met him I thought he saw past your pretty face. I guess he didn’t because before we even broke up I was losing him to you. Sometimes I think maybe he only liked me because you were unavaliable. Anyway, despite all the bad in you and all that you put me through and after putting my feelings into words I can firmly say I don’t miss you, I miss the relationship we had. We were super close and there were many times I was thankful to have you in my life, but now that your gone I can breathe. I don’t know how, but I’ve been so happy lately. I can’t relate to sad posts anymore. I think there was a reason behind you aways putting me down and always trying to outshine me. You were just jealous of me. I don’t know why, but I feel like thats why. I was in some ways jealous of you, you got everything you wanted, everything I wish I had. But I don’t wish for that anymore. I am happy with what I have. I’m gonna go on living my life and you will go on living yours, apart from eachother.