"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

You broke me. You broke me like a wine glass breaks when you hit it with all strength against the wall. I am that wine glass. And when you broke me, you steped on me and you broke me even more. And you also broke me the minute my mom came out of that train, because she came to the town where I was at college to tell me that you committed suicide.I remember sitting there on a bench in front of the train station, crying in my mothers arms and people passing us, watching. And you also broke me the minute me and my mom came home, to that empyt, empty apartment who isn’t the same anymore since you’ve been gone. And you also broke me the minute I went to your room. Your empty room. Everything was as you left it, just you weren’t there. But I was. Standing there, all broken. You also broke me when I first read you goodbye letter. It was the saddest thing I have ever read. And it broke me even more. And you still break me every single day. Because you’re not here. And I still keep on waiting for you to come back. I still hear you footsteps on the stairs infront of my bedroom…and then I miss you. Because I remember. And because I know that I will always think of you, every single day. And I will break again. I will always keep on breaking. And I know you didn’t want this. I know you didn’t want to hurt me, I understand. And I forgive you. Because now I know (even though it’s too late) that you have been hurting too much. And I’m sorry I didn’t know, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. But it’s just so hard to live without you and it’s just so hard to accept this. Sometimes I’m so angry at you that I think I’m going to explode, and sometimes I feel like I’m dead inside, hollow. Like you took everything good with you. And I know you didn’t mean too. But I miss you, I just miss you so much and I don’t know how to handle this. I think that the thing that hurts the most is the fact that you hurt me more than anyone ever has and you are my big brother. You were supposed to protect me, remember? I’m your little sister and you should have always been there for me. You should have gotten married first, and then I was supposed to be an aunt, the best aunt ever, and then you would visit my family and I would visit yours, and our children would be best friends and we would all be so happy. But….now you left me. And it HURTS SO MUCH that you decided to leave. You could have done so much more, and I’m so angry at you for that. I’m sorry, but I am. But still I forgive you. Because I know that you have been hurting. And I just that you are in a better place now, where you can be happy.
I will always miss you.

P.S. I love you too (I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to tell you this earlier)