"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

You’d be 31 this year. I can’t remember the first time I was told about you. But I know that everyday since that day, I’ve thought about you and missed you. Even though I never got to meet you, I miss you.
I’ve always wondered what you’d be like. The person you would’ve grown up to be. The big brother you would’ve been. Would you have been the big brother to help us help when we fell off our bikes? Or would you be the one to laugh and push us over? Would you beat up the boys who broke our hearts and stand up for us when other kids made fun of us? Would you have been athletic or nerdy? Chess club or football?
I actually know the last one. With our family, you definitely would’ve been athletic. Football, basketball, and track. Or maybe not basketball, if you’re like dad and it wasn’t “full contact enough” for you. But I know you would’ve been athletic. And maybe a little nerdy.
When something big happens in the family, I always find myself stopping and wondering how you’d react. What you would think. Or the advice you would give.
If you were here, would you have inherited Dad and Grandpa’s traits instead of me? I’m often told, I act just them. So I wonder if we both would’ve had the honor and inherited those traits. Would you inherit that little chuckle from Grandpa that Dad is slowly acquiring?
One of the main things I find myself thinking about is if you were still here, would I be here too? Did Mom and Dad only want 2 or did want they want 3? Unfortunately, it’s something we’ll never know.
Your second nephew was born February 5th. Everyone in the family thinks he looks more like me. He got some of his dad in him but I think there’s more of me. His dad thinks he’s what you would’ve looked like.
I wish you here. Say hi to grandpas for me, and continue to watch over us. Love you.