"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

You committed suicide as I was halfway through Ava’s book. It was July 20th, & it was after my dance class when I found out by an arcticle my mom shared on Facebook. I inmediately started crying, because I had literally spent my whole 15 years listening to your music, & relating to the lyrics.
Adolescence is one of the toughest stages in one’s life. Your songs somehow made the weight seem lighter.
& I was so mad at you, Chester. I was mad because, besides from leaving us, your fans, you left your whole family, too. You left six kids & a wife. You left your band members, your brothers.You left a whole group of young adults & teenagers who were in need of you, of your music.
The morning of July 20th, you uploaded a music video to “Talking To Myself”, I remember watching it with my friends at school before class… Just to find out nine hours later you were dead. You hung yourself.
I gotta be honest, Chester. Things haven’t been alright ever since you left. & it’s been two months. People start making heavy jokes on you, or telling me to get over it… But it’s hard to get over your death when you were one of my biggest life supports. One of my teenage supports. & you’re gone now. Forever.
About three weeks ago, your band members decided to launch another music video for “One More Light”. You start off the song by singing,

“Should’ve stayed. Were the signs I ignored?
Can I help you not to hurt anymore?”
& afterwards, in the second verse, you sing, “& you’re angry, & you should be. It’s not fair. Just ’cause you can’t se it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”

I’m mad, Chester. I’m going crazy. It sounds like you knew. It sounds like you were giving us a warning, but decided to take the lyrics as a support song. & maybe that was your plan all along. Maybe you were decided on taking your own life away…
Someone could’ve helped. But I guess if your family wasn’t enought, who could’ve been?
There’s a video your wife uploaded… It showed you having the laugh of your life hours before you decided on taking your life away. It went viral, & the lyrics make so much sense to me now.
I can’t listen to “One More Light” & not think about the desperation in your voice tone, or the cry for help in the lyrics. How come no one ever saw it coming?
When you left, you left us all with our jaws wide open & our hearts completely torn.
I’m still heartbroken, I still can’t listen to more than three of Linkin Park’s songs without thinking about all of this. Without thinking you aren’t here anymore. Without thinking in how much pain you were to even consider leaving everything & everyone behind.
You are my one wishes this year. Christina Grimmie & Chris Cornell are also up there with you. They also left this world in 2017.
They say legends never die… Don’t you prove us wrong now.

You are missed, Chester. You are missed by millions.
I love you.