October 28, 2017

Dear Chester Bennington,

This is probably going to be a pretty tough letter but, I might as well begin. My name is Tigerstar Massacre- I was a little girl when I discovered Linkin Park, I had grown up in a dysfunctional family and I believed at the time that my mother and brother hated me, so I drifted into music. I found Linkin Park when I was maybe 7-8 at the time, Numb had hit my soul and it impacted my life. I found your band, Slipknot and System of A Down to be the biggest influences throughout my childhood- even when I had been bullied for my looks (I wore black from head to toe, making me the only Goth in school) and the music I loved, I found peace within your lyrics, because I felt you understood what I was going through.

Then in 2006, I lost my cousin to murder and I remember that day as if it were today. All she was doing was coming home and this person stabbed her and robbed her for money. I remember feeling so upset and above all- angry. I wanted to hurt the person who put their hands on her. So I took it all out on myself by self harming. And no one knew because I wanted to keep it hidden from my family. I found a lot of comfort within your songs “Breaking The Habit” and “Somewhere I Belong” and they helped enough where I wasn’t picking up the blade as less as I wanted but enough where I didn’t hurt myself every single day.

Eventually with your music, I was able to give up that demon and I found my creative path- I started writing stories. Stories that made you on the edge of your seat and made you feel raw and emotional. I feel as if your way of song writing strongly influenced that so I could help people in my own way. I would have people come up and say- “Your stories are so unbelievable, I cried” and that made me feel great knowing that I touched some people’s lives like you did with your music.

Your voice lead me to find so many other bands and musicians that have made me become who I am today- from bands like Black Veil Brides to singers like Juliet Simms, I know I wouldn’t have found myself if it wasn’t for you.

And you also not only touched my life but you touched my late uncle you passed from cancer’s life as well. My uncle told me one time when we were watching you and LP perform at Download on TV, and he’d told me that him and his roommate who was a tattoo artist, he would blast your guys’ music when he tattooed him.

But the day that I had heard you passed away, I felt like my entire world stopped. I felt like I wasn’t even existing anymore. I felt my whole world fall under me because I had dreamed that some day that I would meet you and Mike Shinoda and all of the boys in the band and tell you thank you for saving my life. But it wasn’t going to happen, which made me hysterical. I cried for many days, thinking it wasn’t real. And knowing that it was and not a figment of my imagination- I listened to every Linkin Park song and sang them at the top of my lungs.

I hope you see that you have saved and touched so many lives- my own as well. It meant a lot to me to have an artist who wrote songs that understood my anger, my pain and my sadness and that will always be something that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

I guess I can say “Thank you for saving my life, Chester.” in this letter. Because I mean it. Thank you for saving my life and so many others. Thank you for understanding me. Above all, thank you for helping me find my path in life.

We all love you, Chester. I hope you’ve found peace on the other side- I really wish you didn’t end up the way you did but I will always cherish every song and every lyric you wrote. Thank you, again.

Tigerstar Massacre
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