"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It has been a year since you died. I miss you a lot. I haven’t seen you since I was 8 or so, but you’re still my dad. I am 15. I started my freshman year. I wasn’t going great for a few months. I met someone and things didn’t end well. I still struggle with it. Are you with Grandpa John? I hope so. I hope everything is okay between you two. I know things were probably difficult with him and Gran getting a divorce, and I don’t know if you and Grandpa John had the best relationship. I heard you used to get into a lot of fights. I started listening to Gorrilaz and a few other bands you’d like. Mom told me that you’d be proud of me. It was a year or so ago, but I remember it very well. I was sleeping in her room and she was turned to the wall, but I heard her say it. I think she was crying. I hope you are proud of me. Rick is my adoptive father now. He’s okay, but I miss you. He can be scary sometimes. He doesn’t hurt mom or me, but he gets angry sometimes and can be kind of scary. Sometimes I get kind of angry at you because you never really stuck with us. Delaina and I would visit your house, but you never really stuck. Delaina is in college now and she is doing well. She has green hair. It sounds kind of funny, but it looks good. She is very pretty and very smart. She’s majoring in communications. I think she has finally found a home, or at least somewhere where she feels really safe. Did you give up? This is a genuine question because I don’t really know what you were like. Did you forget about me? Gran sent us some of your stuff you kept and I saw a picture of me. It was framed. I felt special because of that. I think I am finally becoming a person. Or trying, at least. I know things are going to change. Of course, they will. But for now, the best thing I can do is try to be good enough for me. I am going to become a person, I am going to become happy. When I turned 12, you sent me an email saying happy birthday. After that, I didn’t get anymore. Why is that? Did you forget? Or were you embarrassed? I think I really didn’t like you then. I hope you don’t hate me for that. Mom says you’re free now. From addiction and stuff. I really hope so. I don’t believe in God, but I think you are watching over me. Somewhere, I think you are. I really miss you, Dad. I wish I could have met you before you died. I like girls and guys. I have a boyfriend. He’s good to me. I can drive. I paint. I draw. I love horror movies. I love this song called Just Exist by Eliza and the Delusionals. It especially reminds me of you. I mean, the song is sad, but it just sounds like something you’d show me. I hope someday I can see you again. And I hope things are better for us.