"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I’m still mad at you for hurting my mommy. I can barely believe that you did, but I did not know you since I was only 1 when you left me. I’m mad at you for leaving me and I’m mad at God for taking you away from me. I wish you didn’t leave. I wish you could watch me grow up, walk me down the aisle, listen to me gossip, let me cry on your shoulder, tell me it’s okay when it’s really not, be there with me forever. I’m a good kid though. I make really good grades and I have a great boyfriend that I think you would have liked a lot. Buba has a baby now and named him after you. He looks just like buba so in turn he looks like you as we’ll. I wonder what you would look like now…
I was badly bullied in Elementary and Middle school. I was even sexually harassed at age 6. I wonder what you would have done if you were here and found that out.
My step dad got drunk a few months ago and got into a fist fight with mom. He hit me. I can never look at him the same… Mom messed up his face though. He had a black eye and a cut. Mom didn’t get hurt at all.
Do you miss mom? I use to get mad at her because she said she only missed you once in a blue moon and when I asked her what that meant she said very rarely.
After the fight, Anna said that she remembered when our step dad use to always beat mama. I looked at her like she was crazy because I always thought those were dreams and then I found out they were actually real. Mama told me you beat her when you were here too. I didn’t want to believe it at first but I just didn’t know, I still don’t know or want to know. I was mad at her for telling me that because I wanted to just keep you all in my imagination about how much of a good father you would be.
I still sleep with the frog you gave me. I pretend it’s you sometimes and cry on it when I’m upset. I get mad too because you’re not really there to help me.
I love you, dad. To the moon and back like you always say.