"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It’s been 9 years daddy… I miss you a lot. Most days I’m so lost without you and I don’t know what to do. Everyday I replay your death in my head thinking of things I could have done to save you… Everyday I feel more guilt and everyday I try to hide it more and more..I was ripped off in life, no doubt in my mind. There was so many things I could have done to save you, so many reasons why it’s my fault…I hope you’re dancing in the clouds daddy. I hope you’re happy and not in pain. I miss you so very much and sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who still remembers you.. You’re the one I need the most, the one I wish I could have a second change with. I wish you could come back but really it’s like I’m the one who killed you…

I hope you’re proud daddy. Proud of the man I’m becoming and how much I’ve learned. I’ve learned a lot about true love daddy.. I lost some people who were once really close to me.. But when I lost them it’s like it didn’t even hurt that much. Sure I was sad but I had someone by myside. I found someone daddy.. someone I’m so proud to call mine. I’d be lost without her and I honestly don’t know how I got so damn lucky. Damn daddy how did I get so lucky?? You’d like her.. She makes me so happy daddy. She’s the only one staying by myside and showing me how much she loves me. Sure we’ve had our problems.. But we’ve got through them. Man I’m so glad we got through them. I love her so much daddy… I’d be so lost without her…

I got a job.. I hate it so much. But I’m making it. I tried to quit and it didn’t work so well. It’s been stressing me out so I think soon I’m gonna drop it for good. I get so disrespected there daddy.. if you were here I’d hope you’d knock one of them out.

I miss you… I don’t want to but I do.. The pain I feel is so unbearable daddy.. I’m getting through it, and I’ll make it but it hurts.. I don’t know what more I can do to help myself. Mom has asked me about doing consoling about what happened.. but I don’t want to replay that day in my head more then I already do.. I just want to forget about it daddy.. I want to stop thinking about what could have been. If you were here we’d still live in Exeter or maybe we really would’ve moved to Brampton to get away from your sico side of the family.. but then I would have never met the love of my life.. Maybe this happened for a reason.. I lost you but gained so much. Of course I wish you were here.. but I guess In a way God did this for a reason right? I don’t know why but I know he did.

Austin and Brodie are doing good. Austin and I were really close at one point and then something happened.. it changed everything daddy.. he hates us. He wants to kill mom and John. He’s sick dad.. something is seriously wrong with him and I don’t know if it’s because he can’t handle the fact that you’re gone or if it’s something within himself. I just wish someone would help him daddy.. Brodie is doing awesome. He’s so intelligent dad.. you’d be so proud of him. But I think secretly his breaking inside.. I think he’s still hurting by everything that happened in the accident. Well all of us are but Brodie.. well I’m worried about him daddy.. he’ll be okay that I know, but I’m just worried.. Oh my gosh mom. She has literally changed so much. I can just imagine how amazing our family would be if you were still here. She got remarried.. I still can’t believe it.. but it’s not my life I guess..

I miss you daddy.. and that’s all I really know. I love you so much dad😚💖