"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

What did you even see in my when you asked me out? More importantly, what did I see in YOU? You’re the popular guy with tons of “friends” and can run a 5:51 mile and is two years ahead in math. I’m the girl who doesn’t say anything at all during school, or try to make friends. I’m just kind of there.
When we first started out, everything was great. You were nice to me, we talked in school a bit, and I was happier than I’d been in a long time. But then the second month came around and I didn’t know where you went, what happened to you. You didn’t talk to me, didn’t even make eye contact with me. That’s when I realized, “He doesn’t like me anymore.” And then the thoughts started coming in. “Is it something that I did or said? Has he finally realized that I’m not cool enough for him?”
No. It wasn’t me. It was her. The girl he somehow found appealing and interesting. But to me and everyone else, she’s just the wannabe popular common white girl who only posts pictures of her Starbucks on her Instagram page. But I didn’t know he liked her until my friend’s sleepover.
It was about three months into our “relationship”, or whatever is was. I had tried to break up with him but he would never answer my texts. He was “always at baseball.” The day before the sleepover, he broke up with me. Being the two a.m. person I am at he sleepover, I was checking my Instagram. On reflex I went and checked his profile, because I always enjoy seeing the random and weird stuff he posts. And that’s when I saw it. His bio. I had never thought much about people’s bio and actually almost gagged when I saw people arguing about “What color of heart do you want???” Well Cameron’s name is there, smack in the middle. Surrounded by hearts.
Oh, it hurt. And it still hurts for some reason. It’s been about a month, and I still can’t seem to get over the douche. But recently I’ve noticed that he’s been hanging out with Cameron, you know annoying couple stuff like that (to single people of course, not to offend anyone xD) He genuinely looks happy. I still care about him, even though apparently I’m a b*tch to him and he hated me, I still care. At one point I had really, REALLY liked this person. And then he gets with a new girlfriend, and does stuff with her and says stuff to her, and it’s breaking my heart now because I feel like I don’t have that effect on people. I want people to enjoy being around me. But no one but my friends seem to like me. People ask me what I want in a relationship.
And truly, what I want is for someone to care about me and love me. They don’t have to post #WCW, send me hearts and stuff, I just want someone to make me happy. But I don’t know how to do that, apparently.
I’ve noticed how lonely I am. I’m the only of five of my friends that’s single. They’re all happy and then there’s me, the lonely lump of depressed sadness sitting next to them at lunch.
I just don’t know.
(Wow this is really long it turned out to be a rant oops. If you’ve read this far WOW YOU MUST BE BORED LOL)