"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I know you are disappointed.

I was never a good daughter to mom and dad, especially to mom. I am selfish, a good-for-nothing grand child, and a complete brat who always gets what she wants. I think I failed my practical research subject, I’m not really sure since I haven’t seen my grades. But I know, I failed. All because of my damn selfish pride, not cooperating to my group mates, and I fucking romanticized depression. I hate myself and I hope I will rot in hell for all the stupid things that I have done. I deserved this, I deserved the loneliness that I feel right now, no one to call, no one to talk about all my problems.

Also the reason why I’m here writing a letter to you, to say that I’m sorry. I am such a disappointment to the family, and please tell God that I am sorry too. For all the sins and just for existing. I am sorry that I exist, I know I don’t deserve everything that I have in my life right now.

I do not deserve forgiveness, my mom, my dad, and even my brother. I want to stop ruining all the things they deserve, I need to disappear in their lives.

I am sorry, that a good-for-nothing daughter like me exists.