"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It hit me like a shock the other day wahen the words you have said to me came flooding back. I have almost forgotton them even though I knew they were always there.
I am sorry that I have fallen so low and have not cared. I didn’t know it was happening until I saw it there in black and white on paper. I realised I have broken a promise to you and that in itself would break my heart. If it had not been for you I wouldn’t be where I am anyway- you gave me the chance and I haven’t done much to show that I am grateful. I have been lazy and been sidetracked with things that are unimportant.
How much I wish for things. But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Maybe I should try harder, forget things and learn to focus on what should matter. In those moments where nothing matters I loose controll and my life seems to spiral out of control…
I need to grab it back and I realise that. I hate I sometimes don’t have the contol to do that.
When I loose things or my mind wanders to places I try to hide the tears are powerful and sting at the back of my eyes. Sometimes it is hard to push them back inside or wipe them away. I have to remind myself that tears are a luxury of the weak. I cannot afford to have weaknesses.
I wish you could be here to guide me when I am lost. Because I am lost so often now. I wish you could be here to see me grow up- maybe one day I will have worked it all out- maybe one day I will have worked hard enough to have something to be proud of. I hope so. I hope that you are still there and one day will still see me. You always did see me. Thank you.
I miss you.