"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

You’re not dead, but you might as well be. I’ve accepted recently that there is a chance that you’ll never come back. And even if you do, it might not be to love me, but just to be friends. Honestly, the thought of you being out of my life forever breaks my heart. When we were together, we always said that if we broke up we would still try to be friends. When we broke up, you said you could still see yourself having a future with me, it was just that you needed time before you settled down. Do you still feel that way? You asked me if I would wait for you and I said I don’t know. Now, I know that part of me will always be waiting because you were my first love. I know I wasn’t your first love, but I was the first girl who made you want to go to school, get married, and have kids. I like to think that gives me some sort of importance. Maybe a few years down the road, when we’re both single and we’ve both grown up a little, we can try again. Until then, know that when I see things that remind me of you, I want to tell you. I want to be in your life, maybe just as friends and that’s okay. It’s only been three months, and I know that sometimes things take time. I can wait. Our friends C and R got married after being apart for two years, so I have a bit of faith in us. I still love you and I’m sorry that my mental health made it so hard to stay.