"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Two weeks ago mom found you on our bathroom floor with your wrists cut open. Blood was everywhere. She screamed, daddy called 911, Ry held me as I cried. You were my big sister Kell. How could you do this to yourself? You were only 16! You had so much to live for. Ryan still blames himself, he wishes he had seen the signs. He’s our big brother, he feels like it’s his job to protect us. Dad is in Europe for business. Mom insisted he went. Mom cries. All the time. She just stares out windows and doesn’t like to leave her room so granny and grandpa have been taking care of us. Even though Ryan is 19, we’re all hurting and need each other to lean on. I’m only 12 so everybody is treating me with kid gloves, saying it was an accident. But they don’t know that I know about the note you left, that I Googled “suicide” when I heard it come out of the paramedics mouth. Matthew comes over still to check on us. He really loved you Kelly. He was your boyfriend you could have talked to him. You could have talked to your best friends. Anyone. You could have talked to anyone but you held it all inside until you exploded and couldn’t take it anymore. When you stayed at the hospital for a few months, mom and dad told me it was because you were sick. Now I realize that you were there because you tried this before. Now I understand the marks on your arms and the weekly doctors appointments. Kelly I wish you had told someone you needed help. I miss you. You were my big sister and I need you but you;re gone. You can’t come back. No one should ever be so sad that they want to die. Your funeral was the hardest part. Seeing you laying there so peaceful and quiet. They used makeup to cover up the marks on your arms. There were so many people there! You were loved Kelly and I wish you would have realized that before you took your life. I love you sissy!