"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the sister you needed me to be, and I’m sorry if you ever thought that I didn’t love you. If I could take back all of the hurtful heat of moment things I’d said, I would.
I had a dream yesterday, and it wasn’t a dream filled with magic or a happy ending. It was just a dream about you and I, sitting and bickering over candy. I don’t know what hurt the most about it though. Was it waking up and realizing I’d had a good dream with you, or waking up and realizing that it was a lie because you’re gone? You’re gone and you’re never coming back.
I don’t think I have it in me though to ask for you to come back, not to a world where you’d be in pain. I’d like to think life would be easier if I forgot you all together. Forgot the pain of losing you, the pain of having to say that I’m an only child now, that I’m not and older sister anymore. I don’t understand what I did to deserve this pain.
Mom says she hears you sometimes, I don’t know if she actually does or not though. The only voices I hear anymore are the ones telling me that it hurts and that I don’t want to be here without you, that this pain isn’t getting better, nor is it getting bearable.