"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It has been almost six years since I lost you. Six years since I lost my best friend and biggest supporter. Six years since I lost a part of my heart and soul. People will always tell you that it gets better, but the truth is the pain and anger never goes away. When you passed away who I was started to slowly fade away. I lost my confidence, my hope, and the person you taught me to be. I struggled for a while to understand why. Why you? Why me? Why would a 10 year old little girl’s mom be taken away from her? I spent a lot of my time asking these questions over and over again and feeling guilty. I was so angry and hurt about your passing that I forgot who I was. It came to a point where I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I didn’t want to eat and I couldn’t sleep. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t breath, like the pain was too much to handle. Then one day I realized you wouldn’t want me to live like this. You would want me to be happy and have everything I’ve ever hoped and dreamed for. I started telling myself that everything happens for a reason and even though I don’t have the answer as to why you were taken from me when I was so young I knew that someday I would know the answer. I could feel through all of the pain that you were and are happy. Ever since that day I have lived everyday like it could be my last. I have and will continue to make you proud. The pain will never die and there will always be a missing piece in my heart, but I promise to not let it control my life. I promise to keep fighting for you and those I love. I promise to take care of Emma because I know that that is what you would want. She is the reason I am still breathing. Every time I look at her I see you and every time she laughs I can hear you. I might have lost you, but I was left with an incredible piece of you. You would be so proud of the amazing, young women she has become and even more proud how well we get along now. I know you are probably watching over us in amazement of how far we have come. Your death caused much pain and sorrow, but it is crazy how much things have changed in a good way. You were an amazing mom and coach. You had a huge impact on so many people’s lives. Emma and I strive to be half the person you were every day of our lives. I love you mom and thank you for showing me what love looks and feels like. Thank you for giving me my sister and shaping us into the young women we are today. Thank you for being the amazing person you were. There are not enough words to express how thankful I am to have had you for the 10 years that I had you. You taught me more in those 10 years than anyone could teach me in a lifetime. The memories I have with you will forever be cherished. No matter the distance or time our hearts are still connected as one. I have spent the last six years missing you and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life.