"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Well it has been about 9 months now. I miss you a lot… I need you. I’m only 15. You weren’t supposed to die. But you chose the bottle over me. Yes I’m mad. I’m mad at you I’m mad at myself for not doing better and I’m especially mad at your mom and sister and everyone else on that side of the family. They abandoned us. I don’t have much family left… You left me here with this shit. you were the only one I could trust. The only one I cared about… Somethings have changed with me. I don’t care about anything. As you know I at least was the most caring person ever. I’m sorry that you were so depressed. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. And I’m so sorry for letting you die alone. I should have been there… Anyways Papa died last week too. I guess you could say that 2017 really is the worst year of my life. Papa really cared for you. I miss him a lot as well. I just wish that the both of you would of stopped drinking. On a better note I guess I’m doing well in school. But I am not friends with the one person that I actually wanted to be friends with. I think you know who I’m talking about… I don’t know what else to say besides I love you so so much. I miss you all the time. There hasn’t been a day within these last few months I haven’t cried but I’ll be okay eventually. I hope that you are in a better place with your sisters your dad and everyone else. Thank you for being the best mommy I could ever ask for. I’ll see you later. A lot later…