"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

So…how do I say this…I don’t know if your spirit ever truly existed…I mean, the other sac was empty. I think my mom feels sad about what would have been. She was going to name one of us Emma and the other one Hannah. Our younger sister may not have been born or she would have been named Lydia. I don’t know. Maybe I absorbed you in the womb? What would it have been like? Would we both have had OCD? Depression? Celiac disease? Would we have liked the same things? What would we have done? Would Hannah have been lonely? John? I used to play with him. Then, I left him for Hannah, and now I am alone with my thoughts. We could have been each other’s best friend. We would have been fraternal. I would have been jealous of how much better you looked than me. But would we be similar? What do you like? Would you like black and gray or pink and rainbow? Or in the middle, orange and purple? Or none or all? Would you have liked depressing ballads and emo rock? Would you have wanted to share a room? Would you like dogs? Would you be allergic? Would we be enemies? Would we compete? Would you defend me from my siblings? I know I would. We would fight over the car when we got our licenses. Maybe my life would be different. Mom doesn’t like to talk about you. She said that she isn’t sad, but maybe she is? Would I be older or younger than you. That is the important question. I guess none of this is that important. But somehow, I wish I could have known you. And I hope you would have loved me back.