"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I remembered you when you were young , you always weak and get sick easily . You are my favorite sister actually , you were nice , and sweet , caring , and not afraid of showing your love to all of us . You left us when i was 5 years old , because you move with our grandma . I don’t know the reason why go with her , maybe because mom can’t take care of you anymore when you get sick , because she has a lot of children to take good care of , and she can’t do a thing at the same time . I’ve misses you a lot , and i’m wondering when you coming home , because i’m always waiting for you .
Time flies by , but you’ll never come home yet . We moved several places already because Dad can’t find a proper job . I don’t like moving in other places , because i’m too scared of , what if you’ll come home you won’t be able to find us in our old house anymore? , i’m too scared i won’t see you anymore , but i don’t have a right to complain about it , we have suffered in life anyway , and only Dad find a way to survive us from it .
But then i was too happy when we stop moving , and that were staying in one place . a years passed by , and one day were really surprise that you were home , i don’t know how you find our new place , but who care’s anyway haha , . You grow that much , you get taller , and prettier , but then you still too skinny , and you look sick. I remembered how you hugged me , i feel it in your embraced that your longing with us , i feel that you really love us , that you want to stay with us forever . But then a time came by , you got sick again and this time you diagnose in an ulcer, and doctor says that your acute , it means there’s no cure anymore . You hospitalized for about two weeks , but i’d never had a chance to visit you . One day Mom told us that you wanted to go home and spend your last time with us , that was your last wish . When you came home and see you , i was too shock , your almost look like bone . I never cry , but instead i ‘d smile to you because i don’t want you to be sad anymore , but inside of me i wanted to cry , i wanted to ask God why you need to suffer like that .
i can’t forget your last night with us , you are laying in the bed made of bamboo , you can’t move anymore , neither can speak . Your body lay motionless , and you just stared on the ceiling . I’m watching you all the time , and wondering what was in your mind , but i’m too scared to get close to you , and ask what you were thinking . I’m really wish that you just stay with us all the time , we wasted more time spending it without you , i want you to stay , but time come and you have to go , your going to leave us again . But this time we have nothing to do with it anymore , we just accept the fact that we need to let you go …………. even if i don’t want to …. i want you to be my side , i want to spend my time growing up with you , to do stupid things together , but then we can’t anymore ……… i feel really sad .
i am writing you now , because i’m missing you again , i’m alone here in my room , reading “letters to the dead” , and when i open this website i saw this post that you can write a letter to your love ones that are already dead . i’m sorry sis i’m sucked at grammar , i’m not really that genius , you know?. i missed you so much , i wanted to hug you , i wanted to tell stories with you about my life of whose my boyfriend is , but to be honest i don’t have yet . I wish there is a time machine that i could rent ,- because i don’t know how to build one – , and go back to the past , and be with you again . But then we can’t change faith , and destiny , but i guess that’s all wrong , it shouldn’t be like that .
But then sis i should keep on moving , and whatever life awaits me at the top , i will climb for it , just for you , i’m living for our dreams . I can’t give up , not now . I love you so much . I know your not sad anymore because dad is with you now , me , i’m sad and always lonely , only reading books makes me happy . but then for you i’ll try to be happy and enjoy this life i have ….. thanks for loving me …. you always be in my heart forever ….. maybe years fade , but my memories with you cannot be fade , you always stays in my heart forever.