March 24, 2016

Dear Pawpaw,

In two months you will have been gone for six years. It still doesn’t seem real. To this day my heart skips a beat when I get a phone call thinking that it’s you on the other end. I was only ten when you passed so I never really knew what that meant. Yes I was sad, but I didn’t fully process you were gone. It seems the older I get the more I miss. To thoughs who said it gets easier with time, you’re WRONG! It’s gets harder. Much harder. I’m starting to forget little things about you…about us and that terrifies me. I’m scared that one day I won’t remember anything. I still however can remember your voice. Every so often while sitting in silence I can hear you calling me “Hey girl.” Because you called me every name but my own. I remember the way you smelt when I hugged you and how you used to wash your hair with bars of soap. Ew. I remember how you had to ware a hat when in the sun or else your ears would burn. Memaw gave me that hat. It’s sitting on my dresser. Sometimes I look over and just smile at it because I can picture you waring it. I’d say because of you im much better in math. When I was in fifth grade math was hard for me. I would get so upset you always knew how to calm me down and work through the problem. Six years later I’m in honors algebra two and I have you to thank . When I get upset because I can’t solve a problem I remember to step back and breathe like you taught me. Something I will never forget were our bike rides. It was just us enjoying the view of trees and talking about our day. You taught me how to ride a bike and play badminton. I haven’t done either of those things since you’ve passed. I can’t bare to look at that bike. Especially the little bell you had taken off your bike and placed on mine. I remember how you would create new games for me to play when ever I was bored. You were the glue that held our family together. Since you’ve passed things have gone completely down hill. If you were still here none of this would be the way it is. Cancer is awful. We don’t really celebrate holidays anymore. They just aren’t the same. This summer I vow to ride the trails we rode because it took me this long to figure out that that’s what you would want me to do. Everything I do in life will be for you. I want to make you proud. Where ever you are I hope you’re happy and are loved. One day I hope we’ll meeting again.

Love, girl.
Share on Tumblr

Leave a Reply

Share your own love letter >

Do you have something to say to someone who is gone? Tell them here.

Note

This site is open to the public for you to upload your personal letters. You can can sign them with your name or post them anonymously. Any letters or comments with negative content will be removed. Rights to the content uploaded here are reserved by Ava Dellaira to republish.