"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It’s been years haven’t had a single conversation. Yeah it’s unexpected but it’s somewhat important for me. It will take some efforts to read all these as it’s kind of none of your business but it’s very last time whoever you have encountered with right now.

Everything has changed since then, as 3 years has been passed, thoughts, perceptions, surroundings, a new reality is here. I have been waiting to say something to you. I tried a lot but would not be able to do that and 3 years got passed during just trying all those. I had a wish to meet you once and have some conversation but I was not able to make that happen. I thought for the last day of the college(practicals) to do so but my destiny did not allow me again as I got departed from main exams. So the thing has happened which I was worried about that I am not going to see you again in my lifetime and my wish is not going to get completed.

After that, things were hard, I was not even able to face you, stopped going to college, did not wanted to annoy you anymore. Every avoid I ever made was just for you I really wanted to talk with you every-time, did not even texted/ called you was hard for me everytime. It took me time to understand what makes you a good person, each and every small thing matters things you say, do. I always took everything for granted. Did not respect persons which I had in my life. The time was very much dark, very much frightening, all the time I used to think was how can I get you back, I tried lot of nonsense to make you realize that I am cool guy pretending not worried about you so that you get jealous and come back, honestly this was most nonsense thing I ever did. The day you showed me the picture of you and your boyfriend I left each and every expectation from every person around me. Soory, I know things hurted you but the pain of not having you in my life is going to be forever. I made myself busy in computers. Build skills in development for one year and after that I got selected for a company in banglore and went there and worked for six months. I worked on the internet of things (IoT) which were helpful in enhancing people’s life and after those months I went to delhi for another 6 months. All such things I did was by my own I was alone each and every time I managed my living, working there by my own at that time. Every day when I used to get back from work I always had two thoughts in my mind one for my family and other was you. I just used to recall each and every frame of time that I spend with you. I always had your smiling face in my eyes every night. It’s not a devdas kind of thing but it’s my way of loving someone. I really realised what good person is what love is. I did not understood your sentence that true love is not just getting married. I really felt that.I had my all the punishments in that period whatever I did wrong with you, so do not worry I suffered a lot. I always have your thought in my mind each and every day with knowing that you have forgot who I am maybe even my name.Your lifestyle might have changed so much so it is not cool for you read all these but you did read this. I am really very glad you read this. I learned al lot of things from that time (the day you gone). I costed me you to get these lessons. I felt you did not deserve me. I made myself desirable and ideal. I learned to fight alone. I have colors in my life I do not usually get sad over things again and again. Sometimes you come into my eyes and you go back smiling. I love to love you.

I have a lot of thing to share with you, really a lot but it’s going to be my lifetime regret. I can not believe I am not going to have you in front of me ever again. I had some tears writing all these but some what more writing this “I can not believe I am not going to have you in front of me ever again” was painful to write this line. I can not write more. Sorry for everything. Forgive me if you can.