"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I’m writing to you more often than usual these days. I think this is really helping me a lot. I thought twice before writing another letter since I don’t wanna look like a copy cat. But I’m writing to you anyway because I want to and these letters are too private for anyone to know that I wrote these. I’ll keep my name anonymous for the time being.

Anyway, straight to the point. I met my best friend today in the mall (the mall was crowded as hell by the way), she was with other people, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t want to converse with people since I barely knew them and I mostly wanted to spend time with my best friend. She knows what I’ve been going through and is scared to death of me committing suicide. She gave me these notebook filled with so much encouraging words and heartwarming thoughts, that it was enough for me to be scared of committing suicide. From that point I was afraid of leaving people behind, although it didn’t complete rid the thought of suicide in my head. It won’t rid my anxiety completely, but hopefully it will rid my days of depression. She really means alot to me, so much that I thought I was in love with her (turns out I love her enough to consider her my sister).

I asked her if we could do something about the notebook (it’s titled “something” by the way). She hasn’t replied, but I ‘m positive she’ll think it would be a good idea. So it goes like this. Our dad bought me a polaroid camera (the camera that prints photo’s once you’ve taken it, in case you didn’t know) it doesn’t have any filter right now, but I’ll refill it. The notebook has about 18 blank pages (including the back and the front). On the first blank page of the book (the front) should be a selfie of a photo of the two of us (me and bff), but on the rest of the blank pages should be candid shots taken by either me or her. I will write some notes on it, but she’s not allowed to see until we both graduate highschool. That’s basically it. This is the first time I’m doing something that would take like probably two years to accomplish. Hopefully we get to do another one again, only time will tell.

I hope you don’t think I replaced you or anything. You two are still completely different people. There will still forever be a hole in my heart that belongs to you completely. She’s just one of the very few and most precious people that help me with coping. I miss you. We all miss you. Please visit me in my dreams please.