Dear Uncle,
It’s been nine years since you left. Exactly nine years.
Do you remember that Sunday, the 9th of October? It was the last time I saw you. The last time you said “See you on Friday”. I would have never thought it was our last goodbye.
When dad told me that you died…I didn’t believe him…it was impossible. Impossible for me to accept the idea that the only person I loved has left me.
You haven’t been just an uncle. For me you were a dad, a best friend…an angel on earth.
In seven years you’ve given me memories for a lifetime. Lessons for a lifetime. A life within seven years.
They might have thought that it didn’t hurt much…because I was only a child. But it did,uncle…it did. And it’s still hurts after almost a decade. I still hope that you’ll come back someday and that I’d leave the world behind just to spend a few minutes with you by the river.
Well, although I sometimes hope… In these nine years I grew up and the world changed me..destroying even the smallest hopes I had.
Can you see me?
Do you know that I moved countries …that I learned a new language?
Did you see me happy when I met new people, and then destroyed when they left?
Did the heaven allow you to see me on my first day of high school and then my first day of college?
Can you see me now,crying because I miss you more than ever?
I’m not that little girl anymore. People changed me…places changed me. I’m a bad person and I make all sorts of mistakes which I regret after…but I make them anyway. I try to love people and then , when I finally do…they disappear and I’m only left with tears and memories. But you know what? I sometimes hate memories..because they make me miss moments that will never come back, people that will never come back.
I really hope you see me, because I sometimes do good things too.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that I’m a disappointment. I’m sorry that I’ve not become what you wanted me to. I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you.
Thank you for all the memories, for all the steps …for being a true father.
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