"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Senin yanında olmayı isterdim. Sonsuza dek. Senin kadar kusursuz ve güzel olmak isterdim. Bunu dilediğimde senden daha güzel olduğumu söylerdin. Bu konu da sana katılmıyorum. Bana gerçek bir sanatçı olduğumu ve asla umudumu kaybetmememi söylediğinde sana daha çok minnet duyuyordum. Ve şimdi seni çok özlüyorum. Seni daima seveceğim.

I remember when I gave you that nickname/codename back when we were 14. You used to wear this blue sweatshirt that made your eyes pop so much so that’s why I called you blu. Damn it’s been a really long time. I still have trouble listening to the song Use Somebody because it reminds me of you. A lots changed since then. But no matter what my feelings for you never changed. Even through all the bad shit that you did I still loved you. I wish I would have told you that when you were here. I wish I told you that you were the first person I had ever been in love with and that no one will ever compare to you. It has been 2 years since I last talked to you and I was planning on messaging you the day after you died but that never happened. I also thought that maybe one day we’d find our way back to each other and we could’ve been something or at least we could have been in each others lives. But you had other plans and that’s okay no ones mad. We’re all just happy that ... Read more

It’s been four days since you left us. Four surreal days without you. When I look at you, lying there so still, I am half expecting you to open your eyes, jump out and say ‘just kidding! I’m still here!’ but no. I’ve been waiting for four days for you to do that but, you still haven’t made your punchline Kuya. I can’t imagine you not being here, because you have always been here. I see you coming outside your house to smoke your cigarettes, I hear you playing your music so loud and I catch myself singing along with them, I see you starting your scooter up and just tinkering with it forever. Kuya you’ve always been here, so I have no f*cking clue (sorry for the F word) how to go through each day not seeing you here. It’s just way too soon Kuya.. I miss you already and I will miss you everyday. To our handyman, our protector, our driver, our brother, our one and only Kuya… I love you forever.

Even though I never met you (which I´m really lamented of), I wish I could have met you. I just like to imagine how would you treat me like a sister, or cousin, or even friend. I knew some people treated you like a sick person when you were little, and I know how much you loved your brother Theo. Every single time I read one of the letters you have written to him I can feel and your love and the way you cared about him, and how you expressed it on every single letters, including your paintings (obviously). Your paintings just make me feel like I´m way closer to Saint Remi, (which I´m really far away). I wish one day I could be like you, and I wish I could feel your presence right here with me.

Ya son casi 3 años desde aquel 6 de diciembre, fui la ultima persona en verte, había tanto que decir y muy poco tiempo, mi corazón se rompió al ver la manera tan triste en la que dejaste este espacio material, pero también fue claro después de algún tiempo que luchaste hasta el ultimo momento por mantener un poco mas, tu luz encendida.

Ha sido muy difícil para mi aceptar tu ausencia, extraño tu calidez, el brillo de tus ojos, esa risa estridente que contagiaba a cualquiera, tu capacidad de asombro por las cosas simples, disfrutar de un helado, tu compasión por los animales, tu amor por el arte, el cine, la lluvia, la naturaleza, entre muchas cosas mas, estando a tu lado me sentía libre de ser yo misma, podíamos cantar, gritar, comportarnos como dos adolescentes disfrutando de la vida. Me acompañaste en los peores momentos y en los mejores también, eras quien me guiaba, eras una mujer sabia llena de empatía, tenias las palabras exactas para cada problema.

Me hubiera gustado estar a tu lado hasta el ultimo de tus suspiros, lamento mucho no haber estado tanto tiempo mientras estabas enferma ya que te sentías sola, ... Read more

“If a man can bridge the gap between life and death,if he can live after he’s died, then maybe he was a great man. Immortality is the only true success.”- James dean. . You will always be in our heart Jimmy

I’ve whritten you so many letters here in the past year, but I just can’t stop. Seems like every now and then I have to come here and put it all out, because after all this time it still gets too much and this is one of the few ways I can get it all out. I’m realy glad that Ava wrote this book and that this site exsists. Like that you realy have the feeling that the dead person you are whriting to gets your message, sees it all, knows it all.

I still can’t believe your dead. Like dead…what is dead but a word? When I say it out loud or even in my mind, it seems just so wrong. It’s hard that I wake up in the middle of the night and the first thing I think of is ”he’s dead”. And then there are days when I totally expect you to come home, like you were just out with your friends like always. I think I’m dealing with this the wrong way, but I don’t know no other. I blame you a lot, I know I shouldn’t, I know I should understand or at least try ... Read more

Death caught you too quickly in the year 1986 to breast cancer. But what you did leave behind was the legendary Flowers in the Attic and a ton of unfinished work ready to be published. I read Flowers in the Attic in January at the age of 13. People told me I was too young to handle it and even the bookstore clerk that sold the book to me asked what on earth made me want to read this. So I ignored them and ended up loving the book and reading the whole Dollenganner series. You may not be with us anymore, but I still consider you a role model. I love the way you right and also the terrifying but enjoyable (and sinful as Olivia Foxworth would say) you wrote. I love your view on religion and you made me realize after reading a quote of yours that I am starting to question religion. The fantastic quote stated: “I believe in God, but not religion. I believe religion is used to manipulate and punish”, and it is so true. Lastly you have inspired me as a young writer. I read your books like a bible and it showed ... Read more

First, I would like you to know that I am taking Resistant Materials (woodwork and metalwork) for my GCSE subjects. Also that I have achieved a level 8 and ” best in the year” title for woodwork last term. I am not trying to boast, I know that is something that you would never do. You are a good person, and my greatest wish is to be like you. If it were not for you, I would not be anywhere near where I am now. I would a be a stranger with a shadow of the life I have today. So I thank you for that. The badge is my most prized possession and I will treasure it forever. I trusted you when you told me that it would bring me luck, and you were right. But more than that, you were annother part that came with the badge. You gave me the strength to belive, to carry on; and even when I hid it so well, you could see right through me. Now that you are gone, I think that perhaps part of the luck and strength went with you. ... Read more

Your son is growing up to be really smart and is becoming a bit too playful. He eats a lot as well. I wish you were here with us to laugh at him whenever he tries to eat Dad’s glasses or nose. I wish you’d have been able to be the mom you always wanted to be, not just to Gene, but to us as well. You were the missing piece to our puzzle, but then you suddenly got lost, and now the picture will never be perfect. I wish I got to know you better. We miss and love you, Tita, no matter where you are, or what could have been. Don’t worry about Gene, I’ll take care of him, and so will they. We’ll never forget to remind him of how much you love him despite the fact that you never got to hold him in your arms. Nothing can replace the warmth of a mother’s love, but we promise to give it our best shot. Take care out there.