"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I found out that you wrote a letter to all your grandchildren, only to be given to us when we were the right age. I think I’m a few years over the right age now, and yet this week was the first time I’ve ever read it. Ever even heard about it in fact. I’m so proud to be your eldest grand child, and I wish I could have known you better. I wish you’d had longer with us. Your words made me sad in that almost happy way if that makes sense, thank you for writing that letter,

you are always in our thoughts

I’ve lost you. I wish I hadn’t but I have. I let you go away, I asked you to leave but all I really wanted was for you to stay the same as I once knew you. Was it selfish of me to wish that ? To demand the impossible ? It wasn’t selfish. It was delusional. It was hopeless.

You know I can blame you for being the reason my life is a struggle. But the truth is you’re not. My life is the way it is because it’s always been. So I can go on thinking I’ll be okay when you’ll be back but we both know it’s not the truth. You’ve never carried me. You were my ally and for a time it was more than enough. But now I need to let you go. For that is the only way I will find the bravery to try and be stronger. Farewell B. You’re not dead, we are.

A janela Você está no seu quarto Chorando na sua cama Por um amor, Por algo a mais, Por um motivo para sorrir. Mas querida, Isso não vai ajudar em nada, Ficar chateada, Ficar assim.

Esqueça isso, olhe em volta O jeito que você está. Feche os olhos E pense nas coisas boas, agora. Conte até 3, se for necessário, Para fazer tudo ir embora.

E então pegue minha mão, Iremos até a janela Olhar para o céu. E imaginar que as estrelas Estão cantando para a Lua, Que estamos voando para tão longe Que ninguém conseguirá nos ver.

Iremos largar tudo. Todos os problemas e brigas, Todas as mágoas e ódios, E vamos partir sem olhar para trás. Você só precisa esquecer da dor E se deixar levar.

Só por favor pare de chorar. Pare de deixar isso te destruir, Pare de sofrer. Porque toda vez que te vejo assim, É como se eu fosse morrer.

Sei que é difícil, Que é doloroso. Mas lembre-se que você é importante, Então não desista. Não desista por mim.

E então pegue minha mão, Iremos até a janela Olhar para o céu. E imaginar que as estrelas Estão cantando para a Lua, Que estamos voando para tão longe Que ninguém conseguirá nos ver.

Iremos largar tudo. Todos os problemas e brigas, Todas as mágoas e ódios, E vamos partir sem olhar para trás. Você só precisa esquecer da dor E se deixar levar.

E as estrelas continuarão a cantar, E ... Read more

Sei que você não passa de um personagem. mas eu gostaria de te mandar essa carta. Acho que depois de mandar tantas cartas, você merece receber uma também. Sua história realmente me emocionou. Você tinha mais ou menos a minha idade quando perdeu May, e enquanto eu lia, a única coisa que eu pensava era o quanto eu queria te salvar. Tem vezes que desejamos poder salvar alguém, mas não podemos. E eu não podia, porque era apenas a leitora. Eu nunca perdi ninguém muito próximo de mim… eu nem consigo imaginar a dor. Isso me lembra de uma carta (a minha favorita) que você mandou ao Kurt: “Nirvana significa liberdade. Liberdade do sofrimento. Acho que algumas pessoas diriam que a morte é exatamente isso. Então, parabéns por estar livre, acho. O resto de nós ainda está aqui, agarrados ao caos.”

¿Como podes decirme eso? Tus ultimas palabras dirigidas a mi, medio decepcionado y medio enojado. ¿Como podes decirme eso? Se repite una y otra vez en mi cabeza, me equivoque y mucho pero no sabia que esa noche tu auto iba a encontrarse con otro y que nadie iba a vivir. Veintidos años, duele decirlo y duele saber que te fuiste enojado conmigo. Soy egoista. Cuando elegi este libro no pense que casi todos tus idolos iban a estar ahi, podia escucharte en tu auto poniendo Lithium y diciendome “vamos por ahí”. Supongo que nunca voy a superarte y siempre voy a volver a vos, en cierta manera me descubriste como un caza talentos y yo me aferre a vos, estoy feliz porque encontre a mi mejor amigo pero estoy triste porque mi mejor amigo se fue. Mi mamá, si la suegra que odiabas, me esta haciendo conocer chicos nuevos. ¿Sabes que patetico es eso? En el cielo, si en tu cielo, te estas riendo de mi. Ultimamente me estoy permitiendo pensar en la ultima semana, la semana que nos peleamos. Fue una estupides. Vos no estabas intentando bajarme de un sueño, vos estabas advirtiendome de que nada iba a ser como yo esperaba y yo te rete, ... Read more

I don’t know what to do since you left me here, alone and afraid. You were the love of my live, and I was your little girl. The latin girl and the cute american boy… remember that? I wanna come back to the days in the park trailer singing George Gershwin and dancing bachata. It was easy and beautiful. I love you, and I’m still hearing your voice when you whispered “hey baby, wake up, you are in love with a dying man” and I laughed, because it was so true. You were ready for it, but I wasn’t. I’m not ready yet! I will come back to San Salvador and I will pretend that you never exist. I love you forever.

I miss you. It’s just that simple. I could sit here for hours and type thing after thing after thing that makes me miss you, but there’s no use in that. I miss you. I know it hasn’t been that long, not even a year, but it feels like it’s been forever. December 25, 2013 will haunt me forever. Never again will my Christmases be happy. I know you’d want us to be happy and celebrate as if nothing ever happened, but it’s just impossible. You left a hole in everyone’s hearts and it can’t ever be filled. What honestly hurts me the most though, is that I never got to say goodbye. July 30, I looked at you and said, “Goodbye,” and was about to walk out if the door when you said, “It’s never goodbye, it’s see you later, always. Because someday, somehow, we will always see each other again.” I remember how you would love to here me sing to Elvis songs to you, all soft and sweet. Now, every time I sing, my heart breaks all over again, and the worst part is, is that I can’t seem to stop singing. I try and try ... Read more

About four years ago Grandma found this amazing guy that made her so happy. I have never seen Grandma so happy. It was because she met and married you. The two short years that you two were married you made her so happy so in result you made me happy. I miss you everyday and it’s days like today (opening day of hunting season) that I miss you the most. The hunting stories you told always made us laugh and just other stories that you told. Some were funny others were wise, but either way I could’ve listened to you all day. Also I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you more often ‘ I love you’ because I did, I do. Papa, please if your heaven keep a watchful eye out for Grandma, cause we both know how ditzy she it lol. We all miss you terribly but we understand that you were in pain and now you’re not and that makes me so happy. Papa, hopefully you have saved room for Grandma in your heart for the (hopefully long tome away) departure of Grandma. She still loves you so much and she talks to you often. Hopefully you ... Read more

It’s been nine years since you left. Exactly nine years. Do you remember that Sunday, the 9th of October? It was the last time I saw you. The last time you said “See you on Friday”. I would have never thought it was our last goodbye. When dad told me that you died…I didn’t believe him…it was impossible. Impossible for me to accept the idea that the only person I loved has left me. You haven’t been just an uncle. For me you were a dad, a best friend…an angel on earth. In seven years you’ve given me memories for a lifetime. Lessons for a lifetime. A life within seven years. They might have thought that it didn’t hurt much…because I was only a child. But it did,uncle…it did. And it’s still hurts after almost a decade. I still hope that you’ll come back someday and that I’d leave the world behind just to spend a few minutes with you by the river. Well, although I sometimes hope… In these nine years I grew up and the world changed me..destroying even the smallest hopes I had. Can you see me? Do you know that ... Read more

I remember the first time I held you in my arms. You were so small, so I was careful not to squeeze you. Your little hands were reaching something in the air that I can’t see, and I smiled. Later that night, when Mom was too tired to stay up, I watched you sleep peacefully in your cot. I promised that night I’ll take care of you as best as I can, and that you’ll always have me by your side.

But after five years, you were needed. Up there, in the heavens with the angels. You left me all of a sudden, and it was too much. Mom and Dad misses you everyday. And I do, too. I can’t do anything but hope you’re being taken good care of up there. And I hope, someday, we’ll meet again.

Happy 12th birthday.