"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It’s been 5 years since we lost you, yet the pain is still there. I wanna let you know how much I love you. I wanna hug you so much yet you’re not there anymore. Sometimes, I get inside your room, I feel the pain because I remember the memories whenever I stayed there. I remember every time you combed my hair. I remember every time you hug me to sleep. I remember every time I stayed in your room just to hug you. How I wished everything goes back to the way it was. When me and my brother were still small. When we’d go to the malls and buy stuffs. When you were still here. But I know, it won’t be anymore, and everything’s different. I want you to know I love you and I miss you so much. Yes mom, I still cry sometimes, but its alright. I know I’d get it through one day. I know you’re watching over us from Heaven. I know you’re happy there. I LOVE YOU and I MISS YOU. One day, I’ll be alright, I’ll be fine, don’t worry.

Estoy triste, enojada, feliz…

Tengo una gran cantidad de sentimientos encontrados que gracias a ti fueron descubiertos. Tengo tantas cosas que decirte al respecto que no se por donde comenzar. Primero hablare sobre ti… Al principio eras una chica que con tan solo una sola tarea de escribir una carta a una persona muerta, le escribes a Kurt Cobain el cantante favorito de May. Despúes de que May te dejo te desmoronaste de inmediato la verdad en el mismo instante en donde hiciste la primera carta, quería y quiero sacarte de este libro para que te des cuenta de que no estas sola, de que solamente estas atrapada en tu propio mundo en el cual te sientes deprimida , ¡ Y NO TE NIEGO ESO! solo que si desde el principio solo hubieras hablado… Pero dejare eso de lado porque ahora estoy muy segura de que seras la persona más FELIZ DEL BENDITO MUNDO!.. Porque ahora tienes un novio que te ama, 2 grandes amigas (Natalie y Hanna), unos padres maravillosos aunque separados, una tía que te apoya aunque se suele pasar de la religion hablando sobre dios y todo eso… Y te dire ... Read more

Nunca entendí la razón de tu ausencia, aun escucho tu tenue y cálida voz diciéndome que me quieres, tu ausencia ha sido muy difícil a pesar de que han pasado 3 años. tu ausencia ha dejado un espacio de soledad , no a sido lo mismo sin ti, en verdad mi corazón anhela tenerte de nuevo y abrazarte por ultima vez. aveces en lo mas recóndito de mi ser deseo sentirme mas viva y con fuerzas de salir adelante. En tu ausencia todo se ve del mismo color, la monotonía se adueña de cada uno de mis días y la frialdad se siente en cada uno de mis huesos. Todos los días me imagino tu delicado y tierno rostro acercándose cada vez mas a mi ,con la intención de quedarse a mi lado por un poco mas de tiempo , mi vida no es la misma desde tu partida, eso lo tengo presente. No todo ha sido malo, desde tu ausencia he crecido como persona y cada día me conozco mas, se que no estas para sentirte orgulloso de mi , pero algún día podre contarte cada uno de mis logros.

I never understood why you had to leave. You were so healthy and we all thought you would live forever. Then you got cancer. The last thing you said to me was “don’t wait so long to see me next time.” I never got a next time. I wanted to say I’m sorry for not going to the funeral. It hurt too bad, and I didn’t want to imagine you as dead. I wanted to keep that perfect image of you in my mind. But now I feel like that would have given me closure. When things were bad at home you provided a bright, warm, comforting light, and like in the book, I was a moth drawn to it. Now, I have no one to turn to. I never gave myself the opportunity to heal but I don’t blame you for leaving and I am not angry about it anymore. I just wanted to say I love you, and I’m sorry for not visiting as much. I miss you and I really can’t wait for the day that I see you again. You always told me to get along with my stepmom, that I shouldn’t fight her. That ... Read more

I don’t even remember when I first read about you but I remember when you kissed. I understood your love more than anyone else. I didn’t know what I felt then. I do now. Thank you.

No estas muerto,pero van varios dias que tu y yo no hablamos, y la verdad te extraño, en que momento dejamos que el orgullo nos ganara, sabes van varias veces que e decidido escribirte pero siento que te voy a molestar,tus amigos me deben de odiar,o no se porque o no miran muy bonito ja pero no importa,si tuviera la oportunidad de hablar contigo te diria que fuiste una persona hermosa en mi vida no se si realmente yo en la tuya,pero sabes que siempre vas a contar conmigo, espero que despues de que sanen todas las heridas lleguemos a hacer grandes amigos porque me caes muy bien niño espero que estes muy bien y espero un dia tener valor para mandarte un simple hola y arreglar las cosas. Y espero que esos ojos tan lindos dejen de reflejar tristeza.

I miss you more than my words can express. I’m sorry I hadn’t visited in a while when you passed, and I’m sorry I never got to play violin for you. Everytime I play, I do it for you. I had a solo in my senior spring concert I was dedicating to you, but due to the crazy state of the world right now, it got cancelled. Life has been very crazy and I wish I could come over and watch Judge Judy and talk to you about it. I am about to go to college in a few months for music, I hope that you’re proud. I love you so much. You were the family’s glue. I got to read some out of the books you wrote to all of us, and it was very bittersweet. We miss you tons. I think often about how we would play school bus, or with the mighty beans and the yard stick, or how you’d always have the little treasure chest full of surprises for me every week and how you always had the best snacks. I miss that everyday. I love you, and I hope you’re having the best time with ... Read more

It’s crazy to think that i miss you, i never met you. Mom talks really good of you, tells stories about how you were the only sibling who wanted to play with her. I miss how my mom misses you, i think i miss you because of all the good things i heard about you, you seem so perfect and awesome i feel like i know you. I don’t know, i nver told mom i miss you, I remember how when i was little i used to talk to you and GG, i don’t know at least i knew GG but i didn’t know you, i thought it was so selfish to miss you, but i did, i still do. If you ever, somehow, read this i hope you’re good and happy. We really miss you, like a lot.

I finished reading your diary a few weeks ago in my literature class. That seems like such an awful thing to say. Just proclaiming to the world that I read something so private like that. However, it’s been published for the world to see, and it was assigned to read in class.

The most of the time I read your diary, I thought you were a spoiled brat who didn’t know how to be content. But one day I stopped and was thinking about things you had said. I thought about some of the things you had done. Then I realized you were like me, and that I was like you. Not a spoiled brat, but something more.

We’re both just teenage girls trying to live. Afraid and full of big dreams. But our fears won’t stop us, no. Those are the things that keep us going. Because we want to win.

I wonder how scared you actually were while staying in the Annex. I mean, did you think being raided was inevitable? Or were you not expecting it? I can’t imagine the anger that blazed inside you went you found out that someone had ratted you and your family out. I don’t think I would have been able ... Read more

I don’t know much about you. I haven’t read the series that you are in yet. However I do know that you are a son of Apollo. I just found out that I would be a daughter of Apollo. It seems kind of silly, taking quizzes to find out stuff like that. But I guess it kind of helps me feel like I know who I am. I wonder how you felt when Apollo claimed you. Did you feel like you had to fit into a certain stereotype? I hope you were just you. I feel a bit more complete now that I know this about me. I’ve always wanted to dress all cute and artsy, but I’ve gotten so used to being simple and wearing black I got too self conscious to do so. I’ll have to try when I get to go back to school. I feel like you would be really into Alternative and Indie Pop. Maybe you like classical music, I don’t know. I listen to people like Billie Eilish, Conan Gray, BTS, and a few other K-Pop and pop artists. I also like some classical music, but I mainly only listen to it when I’m reading. I ... Read more