"More than a stunning debut. It is the announcement of a bold new literary voice"
—Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Hi dad, its been quite some time since you left. life has been a lot different since then, i’m 15 now and a lot more mature i take care of myself and look after my little sister, and iv been doing alright in school too it is hard tho and stresses me out sometimes but i still try my hardest to never give up. Moms not doing so good right now i try to help but she just gets mad, i don’t think she wants us around much anymore i guess she has more important things to do like go out on dates with her boyfriend, but hey at lest that makes her happy. I hope your happy in heaven i remember you telling me that you would be waiting for us up there, i remember how funny you were and how you always made us. laugh me and my sister miss that a lot, i hope your doing well and if dogs do go to heaven say hi to frosty.

Life is different without you. It’s weird. I keep waiting for you to call, even though I know you won’t. I miss you. I got my temps dad. I’m finally driving. I wish you were here to see. We all miss you. The boys are doing okay. We took them trick’ or treating last night. They loved it. Paxton got scared sometimes, but he had fun. I wish you were there. Now Thanksgiving is coming up, and I keep thinking of our Thanksgiving that year. When you brought us a turkey, and other foods. It’s hard without you. I keep listening to the songs you used to send me. It makes me miss you more, but it reminds me of you. I sleep in your Bear Cats hoodie. It makes me feel like your still here. I have a voicemail that you once left me of you telling me you love me, and I listen to it on repeat. I don’t know what I would do if I lost it. I don’t want to forget your voice. I miss you dad. I hope I can see you again one day…

My life without you changed me. It caused me a great amount of pain. I never forgave you, and if I could go back and forgive you I wouldn’t. I hope it was as hard on you as it was from me just a little bit harder. I looked up to you for a long time as a loving and caring soul. Everytime we were in the car and your favorite music would come on you would make me sing with you.Now every time the same song comes on i turn it off. It has caused me pain to think that it’s all over now and i have someone new. You will always have a place in my memories and a tiny place in my heart. Sometimes I wish I could erase you in every way possible but I can’t. My family and I have all grieved your death, and they still all miss you, but I don’t. It affected me greatly but I am another person now. I’m trying hard in school to show you and my family that i am capable of achieving. Now I am here to show you that i am capable of letting you go. ... Read more

Hi, I hope everything is going swell up there. Even though we did not talk much, and everything happen so suddenly, I still miss you. I wish I would have got more time to spend with you. I was just to young, and I was not aware that time could not be turned back. I just wanted to tell you what everyone has been up to lately. For my parents they’ve been extremely busy as they have started a new business. My oldest sister just got accepted into Pharmacy School at UC and is one step closer to becoming a pharmacist. The middle sister is doing great. She is one of the top students in the upcoming graduating class. She has accomplished a lot over her four year highschool reign. She will soon graduate and most likely will be attending University of Cincinnati. Finally, my life has been going well. I am consistency keeping up on my school work and I am getting top grades. I also have been putting in a lot into soccer. I have made great improvement over the years, which lead to me scoring my first goal this past season. I’ve also been introduced to hobbies ... Read more

I still search for you, in music, and movies that remind me of you. I like to tell myself that I’m a miniature you. I like giving myself that satisfaction. You’ve been gone so long, it’s almost like it’s normal to me now. As if the thought of you still being here today, with me and my brother is “crazy” to think about. I’ve grown so much since you last saw me. I tell myself that spiritually, you’re with me. Growing up with me like you should be. I tell myself that you’re with me in times like my first date. Homecomings. My first day at work, and my first time driving. I’ll still be telling myself that when I graduate, when I buy my first house and when I’m getting walked down the aisle by someone who should be you. It’s bitter sweet thinking about you. It always results in me remembering you should be here. I see so many messed up people, living messed up lives for decades longer than you got the chance to. So many family members clueless on the love you had for them. You should be here, with me, living. Happily.

Hey Aunt Katie, words… I can’t seem to say anything. I can’t explain how i’m feeling. Or how I will ever feel again, never whole again, you were my other half. The better half for sure. Since I can’t seem to explain the pain I’ve been in, i’ll just tell you what I think about and miss most about you. Since I was born you were there, birthdays, it all. If you were to ask me last year if I thought this was the turn event of my life i’d say no. I was 14, and have never lost a loved one. I guess you could I was lucky, was… I didn’t get long with you. I know i’m being selfish because now you’re in a better place, but you’re not with me, and i’m jealous. 14 years is a lifetime for some, for me those years flew by I truly believe 14 years isn’t long enough. The things I wish said. So many, i question everyday why i fought with you. Why? I never ever anticipated this begin how it ended. Death is a way of life, and i’m sorry but i’m new at it. So no ... Read more

You were there since the day I was born, and since the day my father was born. You were my grandma and the one that I saw the most. While you did like to talk a lot and ask a lot of questions, and while you had some things I didn’t believe in with you, you always will have a preserved place in my heart. The day you left was sudden and I didn’t ever think that would happen, I was confident you would come home just fine. However, that didn’t happen, and the last day I saw you, you weren’t even able to speak a word to me or anyone. You were helpless, and I can’t imagine the toll that it took on grandpa, I don’t know what I would have done if I had to watch you leave us like he did. You were a light in all of our darkness and we will all miss you grandma.

Zach i didn’t know you for that long the first time i met you was at the st.Veronica festival with matthew, you and me mostly talked that day but you definitely made a change into my life we started school and you sat at my lunch table and you were the funniest person i’ve meet and then we had 7th bell together we always got into trouble for talking and messing around we would sneak around or be late to class on purpose , you and me always after the bell rang would run and we took the same stairway everyday and we would scream and just run it was our thing and i miss you so much but no matter what you will always have a special place in my heart i wish you would have just came to school i told you to come but you were sick ill never forget anything with you thank you for being a true friend i will see you again my friend.

I am sad you are not with us anymore. Its been almost 3 years since you passed away. I was sad that you couldn’t see me go to High School, and Jack going to college. You were so happy, you had a wonderful family, and we all love you so much. I wish you can be with us for Peter’s upcoming conformation and Matthew’s High School Graduation. You were one the best Grandpa’s a kid could ever ask for. No matter where you are, no matter where i am, i will always love you. I love you and i will never forget you. Thank you for a great 13 years with you.

Goodbye dad, I am sorry for everything. I’m sorry I didn’t let you be a part of my life. I miss you. I remember when we used to bet candy on the Kentucky basketball games. I always won of course. I miss those days. I miss you. I hate that you won’t be there for my graduation, or to see me succeed in life. I hate that you’ll never know what career I will choose. I hate that you won’t be able to walk me down the aisle for my wedding. I hate that you’ll never see me start my family. I miss you dad, more than ever. I remember when you came over for Christmas, and forced us all to take a picture. I hated taking it, but now I love that we did. It’s the only picture with all of us in it. There was so much I would have loved to have told you before this. So much I would have loved to do, but I didn’t, and i’ll regret that forever. I miss you dad. I love you dad.